Wednesday, December 10, 2008

No Need to Argue

Its been a while. I have been getting requests for a new post. I'll admit, it takes a lot out of me to get going on a blog post..but what I forget to realize is that once you get going with writing, it all flows.

I see writing like giving. It takes time,some hesitation, and trust when you want to give. Even when the writing is technical or objective; You are giving a part of yourself; your mind and thoughts. Its a little something I read about in a book called Bird by Bird by Anne Lammott

I promised a post about the happenings of the past year for the 20 somethings. Since then, I updated a brief description about the goals of this blog on my 20SB page. You can also read the archives to find out what all that was like.

Life in Kansas City as a new Kitty owner, apartment renter, adventure seeker, and as usual, procrastinator, has been fruitful. The romance of the snow falling, coffee brewing and candle burning got me in that craved seasonal mood this morning. Today was one of those days I felt in love... with myself.

Time seems to pass so fast that its so hard to stop for just a second and take in the good in life. I had a conversation with a good friend about optimism vs. pessimism. More often than not pessimists will tell you that you are delusional in your optimism. They are the realists and we are just annoying.
No one ever denied that life is hard. Yes, we can all agree that even when life does get us down, there is no use in complaining about it and getting depressed. (although I must admit, a small sick part of me sometimes takes pleasure in complaining about the changes,adaptations and sacrifices I have had to make over the past year, and how many hurdles I have had to jump. ) Indeed, its all part of the learning process. See? I just go back right to seeing the good in it all.

Some people love drama. They love to sit and dwell over all the shit they have been through. They thrive on over dramatic displays of emotion. This is often emotionally draining for the people that have to listen to you! Take note that it is important and considerate to think of those around you. We have lives that are happening RIGHT NOW. If we continue to live in our past, will we ever get to our future? Tomorrow is gone forever. The best you can do is live the now and if what you are doing right now is going to lead you to a better tomorrow- then good for you. If not- please reconsider evaluating your goals in life, cuz I don't want to have to hear about every single move you made during the tumultuous time in your life. If you can offer me some sort of lesson, reflection, or bottom line- I would be glad to listen . Otherwise- shut up and move on.

On the flip, I also think there should be more room in life for compassion and affection.

Last week, I shocked myself by a simple act of kindness. For any of you who live in KC, you all know about Jerry on the Plaza. He is a panhandler who sits on busy street corners and yells " Im tryna raise a down payment on a cheeseburger" - while holding out a paper cup in your face as you pass by. Tourists love this because they think its a funny line. For those of us who have been here long enough, we all know that Jerry is not homeless. As a matter of fact, he has a nice house. He often frequents my favorite coffee shop and talks really loudly about how much he has made so far that day etc. I have seen him conversing with my barista friends and have seen a human side to him that I never expected to come out in the past 4 years. I pass by him with out ever giving him a cent. ( At times he is rude and need I say-- annoying? ) I was driving and as I hit the stop light, there was Jerry on the corner sitting on his crate. I wasn't even thinking when I found myself opening my window making chat with Jerry. He recognized me from the coffee shop and I corrected him on my name. I told him I didn't have much. He said anything would do. Searching for change in my car- I couldn't find anything in time to catch the light. Soon after my attempt, He grabbed my hand and kissed it "God Bless" . I drove away in complete awe as to what the hell had gotten into me. I mean- I really despise that guy! Maybe I was craving human contact, maybe I wanted him to know that I knew his name. Maybe I was just in a good mood and felt like being friendly. I don't know what it was, but all I know is that I drove away with a weird smile on my face. I guess its a sense of community that was created at that moment. I still do believe he is a little mentally ill... Yes, that must have been it. Sympathy.

Next time you see Jerry out on the corner, try talking to him and listen to all the crazy that comes out of his mouth. Hey- he is a human being too. :p

Compassion is officially the word of the season. I believe that even in the most evil or plastic of people you meet they do have a heart. I was watching the Grinch on ABC , and laughed out loud at the part when the Grinch realizes he has a heart that can BEAT- and when it does he screams in pain. :p

To have passion means to suffer. Passion comes from the Latin word Passio which means to suffer ... Derive from that what you wish. There is a lot of meaning in that word. To endure... maybe this is why Mel Gibson titled the movie "The Passion of the Christ" this way?

If you are passionate, you are bound to suffer. And if you suffer you will inevitably grow.

So, be human and give. grow. be compassionate and passionate. Who knows the outcome anyway?

8 comments:

Alexandreena said...

Thank you for sharing this. I've been thinking about some of these things myself recently. Must be the season, eh?

Anonymous said...

I agree with you about living in the here and now. In my own life, this is much easier said than done because I tend to be a planner and am always looking ahead to the future. As far as living in the past goes, over time I've gotten better at leaving the past in the past; but, it would be a lie if I said that I don't sometimes wish I could go back and change things.

Your blog is wonderful and I can't wait to read more!

-Jacqueline

Marissa said...

I absolutely LOVE this post! And what's so crazy, is that I just finished a post about optimism vs. pessimism, and that it's all a viewpoint, and frames how we see and deal with all the hardknocks life throws our way. If we were happy before, odds are, we'll bounce back to happiness, but if we were pessimistic before, we'll probably go on with our negative viewpoint. Too funny--we think a lot alike. Can't wait to read more from you!

Felicia|DaLipstickBandit said...

that was beautiful!

Subhanjan said...

A human being has always two options placed before him by the Lord: Either brood on all that has gone wrong and all that is bad in this world and waste your life by brooding rather than doing something concrete. Or, after having realised what has gone wrong, rise up with a smile remembering all the good that is keeping the world going and try to give your best to make this world better for yourself and for others.

But the most ironic and pathetic part of this whole thing is that a majority of the people on this globe does not indulge in either of these two. An overwhelming majority of people across the globe lead stereo type lives of fun and petty sadness. Leave alone pondering what is happening at Darfur or has happenned at Kosovo, or at Nigeria or at Zimbabwe.

Even fewer people exist who feel pained at what is happening across the entire mankind - right from lack of wisdom in the social structure to the greed of so-called 'classy' CEOs of MNCs - and turn into weeping philosophers doing no good neither to themselves nor to the world. And there is a far fewer number of people who, very naturally, look at a half filled glass as 'half filled' and carry on with good work. This reminds me of Wordsworth: The best part of a 'good' man's life is his little, unknown and unremembered acts of kindness and of love.

But things are easier said than done and man tends to be pessimistic rather than be optimistic. But I have indeed seen optimistic people and some of the most pessimistic people. And I feel pity for the pessimists as they cause a lot of trouble to themselves. Life is strange and a very difficult thing to deal with. But optimistic people have always amazed me and encouraged me. A friend of mine performed very well in his university exams though his father passed away a few days before the exams. I have seen a monk who even in his old age carried a smile and went on with his work ignoring all the diseases that he was carrying. I have seen a man working in a library of a school and enriching it for ten years without taking any salary for it. I have seen poor people building up their houses every year after the storms wreck their houses every year. I have known a lover who has been waiting for ten years and is still waiting for his beloved to come to his heart someday and his beloved does not even know that he loves her. I have known a shop keeper who kept the change with him that I had forgotten to take in a hurry and returned it to me when I went to his shop again after almost a year. I had forgotten of that change. He did not.

Life of simple people have a lot to teach. We just have to keep our eyes open, keep on learning, and implement in our life style what we have learnt. That way, the glass will always seem half-filled to us.

- Subhanjan

visit me at: http://clickmoments.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

"Fall in love with yourself"..aha..yes, I think that's the coolest and most valuable thing I read today :D

Far said...

Hey girl loved this post glad your back in blog action!! and YES we do have a lot more in common then we prob think ;)

Errant Gosling said...

Wonderful post and great story. I know I'm a little late to the party, but this still reached me.