Friday, November 28, 2008

Another Playground

I always write the title of my blogs by randomly choosing words, by the way the sound- at the end of writing my post.

Its Black Friday. Every year I get into the hype of it before the actual day. I then make an attempt to take advantage of the doorbusters. Today it ended immediately after walking into one store and waited in line. People are totally disgusting when it comes to shopping. Especially women. I worked retail for a long time in college- seeing women scramble in lines and spend money that they dont have is indicative of this consumer driven society we live in. (Is that what makes us powerful as a country? Our customer service skills? Our fake attempts at making the clientele feel special and taken care of at the store? Is it that "personal touch" that makes us buy more? Why are we constantly trying to prove to others - when it comes to spending? Women get so weak when someone is trying to sell them...Ive been that sales person, I dont like doing it.)

Holidays in the states turns people into a frenzy, and instead of everyone buckling down and preventing themselves from drowning in bills, they run out to get more more more. Its a sickness. Today I refused to be a part of that. If the holidays are about giving, then give to yourself. And for the people you love, do something thoughtful that they will appreciate and remember.. Cuz the gift you give them will end up on the floor in a few months.

I got flooded with well wishing thanksgiving text messages yesterday that varied in context. One of them :

"Happy commemorative day of genocide of an indigenous people. Our greatness as a country was a result of mass murder. Enjoy your pie. "

Ha Ha! I laughed out loud- But, has anything changed this year? Actually, has anything changed in the history of America? Oh wait- we are still doing that. Oh yea! I forgot! My roots hail from the country of Iraq! How silly of me to forget. Lets keep invading countries, and stealing their resources. Is that what we are made of? It makes me so sick. What are we built on? I have no room to be cheery right now. Ill admit I love the holidays, the spirit, and my salted caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks. I just constantly avoid the thought of the dreadful state of the rest of the world. One of which I come directly from. Iraq. I am first generation. Ultimately it saddens me because there is nothing I can do except sip my freaking latte. I love the spirit of this country and its that feeling that keeps me preoccupied and distracted. Is that a good thing? Is it an emotional survival mechanism? God forbid we think about whats happening in other parts of the world.

Happy Holidays America.

your Iraqi American friend.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Skinny Redhead

Have you ever started your day with a very clear vision of your goals, the next thing your know its 2 o’clock and you feel defeated? I have been dealing with issues of discipline since I was ten years old.

I have made so many lists and put them in so many places. I have books upon books of journals and notebooks and post its and magazines. Sometimes I buy them just so I can look at them. (I have a pair of impossible shoes that are never worn, but make me happy just by looking at them.)

I’m not a fan of anything colored or sparkly, lately. All the journals at Barnes and Noble make me sick. So I go for the plain black. All the time. Its like those stupid lap tops with colors and designs all over the front. Do we need to have self expression riddled all over things that weren’t meant for means of self expression? It’s a computer! Are you that desperate that even your computer has to be flailing with “look at me?” Leave it to its use, and use your clothes, or your choice in music or art for self expression.

I started speaking about distractions in efforts to get me focused. Sometimes you need to see it in writing before you realize how pathetic you are.

Ok, goal achieved. Next topic:

My biography for all my new 20SB friends. For all of my old readers who don’t know what 20SB is, you wont need to read my next entry  Unless of course, you are a fan. Yea- I can be full of it too.


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Coffee Dreams

Im starting new. Its been a long time coming. I have been waiting on this chance for a while now. The chance to write uninhibited.

There is only so much you can hide from the world, and im slowly learning that I cant censor the truth about my existence separate and apart from my identity that I was born with.

Ive realized that to shed parts of you that make you an individual - slowly takes you closer to learning about what you really love and who you are apart from society... expectations.... crap.

Im settling, moving and trying to establish myself. Oman days are over, and I feel back in my element :)

love ....