Currently reading: Palestine Peace not Apartheid. Jimmy Carter.
The End of Faith. Sam Harris
Letters to A Christian Nation. Sam Harris
A Million Little Pieces. James Frey
Currently Thinking: Music at starbucks giving me a headache.
Annoyed with stupid people. There is just no excuse.
Need a job Need a job Need a job Need a job
I love my friends. The real ones.
Here is something I wrote.
Life is a big mystery. Been feeling inspired lately and cant shake the questions. - If there were no life or existance, What is there? What is the point of it all? to serve God? If so- What does God Want? To be a good person to yourself and to others? ...Then why is it that not everyone can follow the same rules of a dogmatic religion? Its impossible. We are all created with individual characteristics, heritage, genes, and circumstances. How is it that we are all supposed to follow one formula? It doesnt make logical sense. I was brought up to always think there are rules and guidelines as to how to be a successful person on this journey called life. I was always told how I was to function in order to secure success. I always struggled with trying to make myself believe... But Belieiveing is also, Hard to believe.
Where does ones beliefs derive? From whcih ever they do. are they universal? -- regardless of whatever is worldly attached to that person?
I want to go with the easy answer to what I have always known. To learn about the techings of the prophets in Islam, and to just read the Quran. So my heart can find rest. Yet- there are so many questions.
At some point, one must choose to believe in something- but if that belief doesnt adhere to a specific religion , does that mean that person is doomed to hell? God cannot be a cruel creator, we are his creations, yet we have the choice. The "free will" etc......We are not the ultimate judges, I suppose.
It is a persons choice to look outside themselves and find whatever it is they are looking for. We cannot be force fed a prescription medication. A one way ticket.
Diversity is what makes us human. Its what makes culture. We ALL have a story to tell. Without that story, life would be fruitless/hum drum.
Without all the things that human beings latch onto to give us an identity we are no body. Its like the movie about the boy who goes into the wild and leaves all his belongings and family behind him. In the end he found that Happiness is not real unless it is shared.
Those things are important. And the balance of the material, physical, metaphysical etc. is essential to our discovery about the journey that we are all destined to take., to live.
To say that worldly things are meaningless is ignorant. It is a cop out for the immature person who wants to take the easy way out. – Whichever way it would suit him or her. Those things would not exist if they were not important for our growth. Everything has a purpose? A reason?
The human capacity to THINK, FEEL, ACT, CREATE, AND TRANSFORM is immense. We are all given that ability. The proof lies with in a physical cat scan of our brain. And- we only really use a small part of it.
Sit on it.
Chao for now
Showing posts with label identity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label identity. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
To be or ...Just to be.
OK. I'm ready now.
Sometimes having too much too say makes a person not know what to say at all. We go around with so many thoughts in our heads... So much we want to say to the world, so much to confess, proclaim, and so much we desire in life that it becomes overwhelming and you just dont know where to start. So you simply . Dont.
Its a little thing I learned in college when I had a really long tedious paper to do or research I needed to get going on, but I simply wouldn't because the task was so daunting, .. it would take away so much from me, and in the end after I have procrastinated so much about it, I am left with the stress and drama of doing it...It seems like its the only way to get anywhere. leaving it all to the wind and then let it all come crashing out like a stream of random BS, or sometimes not. Sometimes taking that baby step of just starting on a project is half of the progress... then it all ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows...
Its what I have learned about writing, and myself.
Just do it.
I'm alone on 'Christmas Eve' - and although my family never celebrated it when I was growing up- I still have a sense of obligation to myself to neglect my daily routine and do something- anything .
Just because its a holiday that everyone else takes part in regardless of their belief in it?? It seems more like an American tradition for a lot of people more than the meaning of it. If you don't do anything special during this time of year, you inevitably feel like an outsider. Its like an instilled feeling-- or expectation that society puts on people during times like these. What if you dont have any family? What happens when all your friends are with their families... are you just expected to sit around and feel lonely? Just because........ ?
Being with family can be painful for some people. I understand that its not because they dont love them, but sometimes its because we love them so much that its to painful to be around them. The overwhelming sense that these people you grew up with are now all living their own lives. We are all so uninvolved with one another , and its kind of heartbreaking. So we simply avoid it. We go through the acts and motions of being there during the holidays and exchanging smiles and small talk because its what expected. -- regardless of all you have been through together with "these people" . Yea- you are blood.
Being with yourself and enjoying your own company is very important. Its part of self love. But being with other people or a significant other can also suffocate you. Where is the happy balance, and how can one 'keep it real' all through out?
When I was growing up, we never had a Christmas tree or lights or any other the other shenanigans. But my family would still drive around and look at all the elaborate light displays. I would still bring cookies to class in elementary school for all the holiday celebrations. I would celebrate all the holidays everywhere else outside of my own home. My parents were the kind that would drag me and my other three brothers to dinner parties every other weekend. It seemed pretty normal most of the time. The families were almost always Arab. More so, Muslim Arabs. But on one particular cold December night we went to a house with lights and Christmas trees. they were also Arab; Christians. I was so confused as to why or how Arabs - regardless of their religion would have a tree in their house. It never occurred to me that Christian Arabs existed. I asked the little girl at the house why they had a tree . She said it was for Christmas of course. at the time I was skeptical about if she had lied and said they were Muslim and they just wanted to celebrate Christmas- because that is what she had told me, or what were they really??
On the drive home my dad said that they were Muslims, but had a tree because it was just American culture to have a tree up and they were trying to copy everyone else!
Imagine how confused I was. All I knew was that we were Muslim, and didn't celebrate the birth of Jesus.
To say the least, I am still confused. Would it be okay to put up a tree and go along with the traditions of giving and the nine yards of trees and lights - just because it was fun? -Or is it not because Muslims dont believe that they should imitate? What is the real story behind all this Christmas time anyway? We all know that Santa was a fabrication... but why? And who decided that we would celebrate the birth of Jesus like this? Besides, dont Christians believe that he was born in a barn and not under a tree? I was taught that Jesus was born under a tree. A palm tree. A lot of Muslims think that by participating in all the festivities of Christmas that you are committing a sin. -because you are associating the practices with yourself - as a Muslim. We have our holidays, and we should stick to those only. When did other religions, for example... atheists, do they celebrate Christmas? Who decided that? What is celebrated because of the tradition and culture, and what is celebrated because of its true meaning? Will majority of Muslims in America get to that point too?
What is the harm? I do know I celebrate Halloween and Valentines day. Is it because there is no religious significance in those holidays? Or is Halloween a satanic celebration, as some Muslims would say, and I shouldn't have fun with that either? Am I playing with fire? God knows.
I sincerely do wish my friends, and you, have a 'merry Christmas' though. From the bottom of my heart.
xoxo
Sometimes having too much too say makes a person not know what to say at all. We go around with so many thoughts in our heads... So much we want to say to the world, so much to confess, proclaim, and so much we desire in life that it becomes overwhelming and you just dont know where to start. So you simply . Dont.
Its a little thing I learned in college when I had a really long tedious paper to do or research I needed to get going on, but I simply wouldn't because the task was so daunting, .. it would take away so much from me, and in the end after I have procrastinated so much about it, I am left with the stress and drama of doing it...It seems like its the only way to get anywhere. leaving it all to the wind and then let it all come crashing out like a stream of random BS, or sometimes not. Sometimes taking that baby step of just starting on a project is half of the progress... then it all ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows...
Its what I have learned about writing, and myself.
Just do it.
I'm alone on 'Christmas Eve' - and although my family never celebrated it when I was growing up- I still have a sense of obligation to myself to neglect my daily routine and do something- anything .
Just because its a holiday that everyone else takes part in regardless of their belief in it?? It seems more like an American tradition for a lot of people more than the meaning of it. If you don't do anything special during this time of year, you inevitably feel like an outsider. Its like an instilled feeling-- or expectation that society puts on people during times like these. What if you dont have any family? What happens when all your friends are with their families... are you just expected to sit around and feel lonely? Just because........ ?
Being with family can be painful for some people. I understand that its not because they dont love them, but sometimes its because we love them so much that its to painful to be around them. The overwhelming sense that these people you grew up with are now all living their own lives. We are all so uninvolved with one another , and its kind of heartbreaking. So we simply avoid it. We go through the acts and motions of being there during the holidays and exchanging smiles and small talk because its what expected. -- regardless of all you have been through together with "these people" . Yea- you are blood.
Being with yourself and enjoying your own company is very important. Its part of self love. But being with other people or a significant other can also suffocate you. Where is the happy balance, and how can one 'keep it real' all through out?
When I was growing up, we never had a Christmas tree or lights or any other the other shenanigans. But my family would still drive around and look at all the elaborate light displays. I would still bring cookies to class in elementary school for all the holiday celebrations. I would celebrate all the holidays everywhere else outside of my own home. My parents were the kind that would drag me and my other three brothers to dinner parties every other weekend. It seemed pretty normal most of the time. The families were almost always Arab. More so, Muslim Arabs. But on one particular cold December night we went to a house with lights and Christmas trees. they were also Arab; Christians. I was so confused as to why or how Arabs - regardless of their religion would have a tree in their house. It never occurred to me that Christian Arabs existed. I asked the little girl at the house why they had a tree . She said it was for Christmas of course. at the time I was skeptical about if she had lied and said they were Muslim and they just wanted to celebrate Christmas- because that is what she had told me, or what were they really??
On the drive home my dad said that they were Muslims, but had a tree because it was just American culture to have a tree up and they were trying to copy everyone else!
Imagine how confused I was. All I knew was that we were Muslim, and didn't celebrate the birth of Jesus.
To say the least, I am still confused. Would it be okay to put up a tree and go along with the traditions of giving and the nine yards of trees and lights - just because it was fun? -Or is it not because Muslims dont believe that they should imitate? What is the real story behind all this Christmas time anyway? We all know that Santa was a fabrication... but why? And who decided that we would celebrate the birth of Jesus like this? Besides, dont Christians believe that he was born in a barn and not under a tree? I was taught that Jesus was born under a tree. A palm tree. A lot of Muslims think that by participating in all the festivities of Christmas that you are committing a sin. -because you are associating the practices with yourself - as a Muslim. We have our holidays, and we should stick to those only. When did other religions, for example... atheists, do they celebrate Christmas? Who decided that? What is celebrated because of the tradition and culture, and what is celebrated because of its true meaning? Will majority of Muslims in America get to that point too?
What is the harm? I do know I celebrate Halloween and Valentines day. Is it because there is no religious significance in those holidays? Or is Halloween a satanic celebration, as some Muslims would say, and I shouldn't have fun with that either? Am I playing with fire? God knows.
I sincerely do wish my friends, and you, have a 'merry Christmas' though. From the bottom of my heart.
xoxo
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Tapestry of Selves
I am one of those people that always has their inbox open as the first tab in their browser. therefore I am perpetually checking my email. Junk mail arrives and I delete it. I get all the coupons from stores I shop at, and most of the time they go to trash because I tell myself that if I delete it right away I wont know the deals and I will save money.
Yesterday I decided to open an email I got from American Eagle about some 30% off. I was confused of its contents.
Since when did Glam or party girl mean a baret and a button down? I understood that it is American Eagle and their style is usually very plain aka "American" So I decided to give them another shot on click on the Ad. Yet, still- Their party shop was nothing party like. I know the brand is appealing to a specific type of American girl. The girl next door who doesn't have much creativity except to wear whatever the store says she should put together. The clothes ARE BORING. They can look really cute- but the thing is, not on all women. I know this because when I try on this American girl look it just doesn't match. I feel and look like I am in high school. It works for tall, chest less, petite women; maybe. They are leggy have straight hair and it looks really fresh and clean on them. Ill admit I have bought a few pieces from there only because I needed the basic sweatshirt that will keep me warm. I used it for its functionality, not their style.
Get Glam?? Party Girl?? Were they serious??
I used to work at Bebe. I can understand what glamourous may mean to some, but I am tired of glamorous being laced with sleazy/sexy. bebe is also way over the edge with their advertising.
So now we are told that to get attention from a man we have to wear these dresses and be this thin. So we can guarantee a kiss? I know this is not a new concept. But so many women fall for it every day. The point im trying to make is that the entire concept of glamour and sexy has been so obscured in our minds that we no longer can decide for ourselves what looks sexy. Its not about us anymore, its about everyone else's image of us. And are we so desperate to get a guys attention solely by the clothes we wear? I wonder if women went out to clubs wearing very basic plain clothes. Will they feel sexy? confident? Able to approach men? Probably not. Why?
I am not saying that its okay to look innapropriate in public. For example, I have seen women go out in public in what they think is appropriate for them. Whether it means her not wearing a bra and wearing long hippie skirts and not having her hair washed for 10 days. -Or wearing clothes that are too tight, or too sleazy for a saturday afternoon. I can agree there are certain rules of decorum. And this description would fit those who are just mentally ill. Get with times too, ya know
I had a conversation with someone about the meaning of originality. The concept of a mall defeats the entire concept of being original. A mall is a place where all "accepted" stores are. It is a foolproof place for people to go to get an idea of the current trends. It is a place where people go to buy prepackaged individuality. There is nothing original about all the stores in a mall. Its societies stamp of approval of what is acceptable to put on your body. Its a conglomerated place of social acceptance. Now, if you are one of those people that go from store to store to put pieces together, then I can give you credit for trying. But again, if you do that - you are also trying very hard to be original. So what does original mean when it comes to fashion and style?
I think I have come to the conclusion that original doesn't exist unless you are the one designing your own clothing. If you have a favorite designer in which you can identify with their styles and you wear that clothing, then good for you in supporting that designer, and good luck on your journey in finding identification in clothing.
I have gone very astray from my original idea here. I want to address glamour. What is it? How do your choices in clothing reflect your identity?
I wont go further. Please Ponder :)
Yesterday I decided to open an email I got from American Eagle about some 30% off. I was confused of its contents.
Since when did Glam or party girl mean a baret and a button down? I understood that it is American Eagle and their style is usually very plain aka "American" So I decided to give them another shot on click on the Ad. Yet, still- Their party shop was nothing party like. I know the brand is appealing to a specific type of American girl. The girl next door who doesn't have much creativity except to wear whatever the store says she should put together. The clothes ARE BORING. They can look really cute- but the thing is, not on all women. I know this because when I try on this American girl look it just doesn't match. I feel and look like I am in high school. It works for tall, chest less, petite women; maybe. They are leggy have straight hair and it looks really fresh and clean on them. Ill admit I have bought a few pieces from there only because I needed the basic sweatshirt that will keep me warm. I used it for its functionality, not their style.
Get Glam?? Party Girl?? Were they serious??
I used to work at Bebe. I can understand what glamourous may mean to some, but I am tired of glamorous being laced with sleazy/sexy. bebe is also way over the edge with their advertising.
So now we are told that to get attention from a man we have to wear these dresses and be this thin. So we can guarantee a kiss? I know this is not a new concept. But so many women fall for it every day. The point im trying to make is that the entire concept of glamour and sexy has been so obscured in our minds that we no longer can decide for ourselves what looks sexy. Its not about us anymore, its about everyone else's image of us. And are we so desperate to get a guys attention solely by the clothes we wear? I wonder if women went out to clubs wearing very basic plain clothes. Will they feel sexy? confident? Able to approach men? Probably not. Why?
I am not saying that its okay to look innapropriate in public. For example, I have seen women go out in public in what they think is appropriate for them. Whether it means her not wearing a bra and wearing long hippie skirts and not having her hair washed for 10 days. -Or wearing clothes that are too tight, or too sleazy for a saturday afternoon. I can agree there are certain rules of decorum. And this description would fit those who are just mentally ill. Get with times too, ya know
I had a conversation with someone about the meaning of originality. The concept of a mall defeats the entire concept of being original. A mall is a place where all "accepted" stores are. It is a foolproof place for people to go to get an idea of the current trends. It is a place where people go to buy prepackaged individuality. There is nothing original about all the stores in a mall. Its societies stamp of approval of what is acceptable to put on your body. Its a conglomerated place of social acceptance. Now, if you are one of those people that go from store to store to put pieces together, then I can give you credit for trying. But again, if you do that - you are also trying very hard to be original. So what does original mean when it comes to fashion and style?
I think I have come to the conclusion that original doesn't exist unless you are the one designing your own clothing. If you have a favorite designer in which you can identify with their styles and you wear that clothing, then good for you in supporting that designer, and good luck on your journey in finding identification in clothing.
I have gone very astray from my original idea here. I want to address glamour. What is it? How do your choices in clothing reflect your identity?
I wont go further. Please Ponder :)
Friday, November 28, 2008
Another Playground
I always write the title of my blogs by randomly choosing words, by the way the sound- at the end of writing my post.
Its Black Friday. Every year I get into the hype of it before the actual day. I then make an attempt to take advantage of the doorbusters. Today it ended immediately after walking into one store and waited in line. People are totally disgusting when it comes to shopping. Especially women. I worked retail for a long time in college- seeing women scramble in lines and spend money that they dont have is indicative of this consumer driven society we live in. (Is that what makes us powerful as a country? Our customer service skills? Our fake attempts at making the clientele feel special and taken care of at the store? Is it that "personal touch" that makes us buy more? Why are we constantly trying to prove to others - when it comes to spending? Women get so weak when someone is trying to sell them...Ive been that sales person, I dont like doing it.)
Holidays in the states turns people into a frenzy, and instead of everyone buckling down and preventing themselves from drowning in bills, they run out to get more more more. Its a sickness. Today I refused to be a part of that. If the holidays are about giving, then give to yourself. And for the people you love, do something thoughtful that they will appreciate and remember.. Cuz the gift you give them will end up on the floor in a few months.
I got flooded with well wishing thanksgiving text messages yesterday that varied in context. One of them :
"Happy commemorative day of genocide of an indigenous people. Our greatness as a country was a result of mass murder. Enjoy your pie. "
Ha Ha! I laughed out loud- But, has anything changed this year? Actually, has anything changed in the history of America? Oh wait- we are still doing that. Oh yea! I forgot! My roots hail from the country of Iraq! How silly of me to forget. Lets keep invading countries, and stealing their resources. Is that what we are made of? It makes me so sick. What are we built on? I have no room to be cheery right now. Ill admit I love the holidays, the spirit, and my salted caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks. I just constantly avoid the thought of the dreadful state of the rest of the world. One of which I come directly from. Iraq. I am first generation. Ultimately it saddens me because there is nothing I can do except sip my freaking latte. I love the spirit of this country and its that feeling that keeps me preoccupied and distracted. Is that a good thing? Is it an emotional survival mechanism? God forbid we think about whats happening in other parts of the world.
Happy Holidays America.
Love,
your Iraqi American friend.
Its Black Friday. Every year I get into the hype of it before the actual day. I then make an attempt to take advantage of the doorbusters. Today it ended immediately after walking into one store and waited in line. People are totally disgusting when it comes to shopping. Especially women. I worked retail for a long time in college- seeing women scramble in lines and spend money that they dont have is indicative of this consumer driven society we live in. (Is that what makes us powerful as a country? Our customer service skills? Our fake attempts at making the clientele feel special and taken care of at the store? Is it that "personal touch" that makes us buy more? Why are we constantly trying to prove to others - when it comes to spending? Women get so weak when someone is trying to sell them...Ive been that sales person, I dont like doing it.)
Holidays in the states turns people into a frenzy, and instead of everyone buckling down and preventing themselves from drowning in bills, they run out to get more more more. Its a sickness. Today I refused to be a part of that. If the holidays are about giving, then give to yourself. And for the people you love, do something thoughtful that they will appreciate and remember.. Cuz the gift you give them will end up on the floor in a few months.
I got flooded with well wishing thanksgiving text messages yesterday that varied in context. One of them :
"Happy commemorative day of genocide of an indigenous people. Our greatness as a country was a result of mass murder. Enjoy your pie. "
Ha Ha! I laughed out loud- But, has anything changed this year? Actually, has anything changed in the history of America? Oh wait- we are still doing that. Oh yea! I forgot! My roots hail from the country of Iraq! How silly of me to forget. Lets keep invading countries, and stealing their resources. Is that what we are made of? It makes me so sick. What are we built on? I have no room to be cheery right now. Ill admit I love the holidays, the spirit, and my salted caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks. I just constantly avoid the thought of the dreadful state of the rest of the world. One of which I come directly from. Iraq. I am first generation. Ultimately it saddens me because there is nothing I can do except sip my freaking latte. I love the spirit of this country and its that feeling that keeps me preoccupied and distracted. Is that a good thing? Is it an emotional survival mechanism? God forbid we think about whats happening in other parts of the world.
Happy Holidays America.
Love,
your Iraqi American friend.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Coffee Dreams
Im starting new. Its been a long time coming. I have been waiting on this chance for a while now. The chance to write uninhibited.
There is only so much you can hide from the world, and im slowly learning that I cant censor the truth about my existence separate and apart from my identity that I was born with.
Ive realized that to shed parts of you that make you an individual - slowly takes you closer to learning about what you really love and who you are apart from society... expectations.... crap.
Im settling, moving and trying to establish myself. Oman days are over, and I feel back in my element :)
love ....
There is only so much you can hide from the world, and im slowly learning that I cant censor the truth about my existence separate and apart from my identity that I was born with.
Ive realized that to shed parts of you that make you an individual - slowly takes you closer to learning about what you really love and who you are apart from society... expectations.... crap.
Im settling, moving and trying to establish myself. Oman days are over, and I feel back in my element :)
love ....
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