It is officially spring. But my phone signal keeps cutting in and out.
My body is also objecting to the new smells and wafts of air that have floated in my face after two days of attempting to run in the park, instead of the treadmill. I prefer the treadmill.
Benedryl, Claritin-D. Welcome.
Does it end? I am in a perpetual state of maintenance and catching up. When will I tackle the big things? The big dreams and goals. It must be one small step at a time. I never listen to my stupid mantras and silly positivity. Who am I kidding.
Sometimes I honestly do not want to hear the positive jargon that people are forced to throw around in this "bad economy". The world is in the shits right now, lets face it. And if you are unemployed and looking, you know it even more. I'll still applaud you for trying.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Landing on a Latte
Hello Again Everyone!
I am well, and feeling 100% better after a week of sickness and recovery. I must say - I am rarely ill- the last time I was that sick was in the bout of stress and insanity planning the Annual Women in Business conference in Muscat, Oman last year! I cant imagine that I was indeed stressed recently and that it caused the flu. I have been spending a lot of time at the gym and moving around much much much! My little niece was sick and its pathetic to think that I caught it from a 3 month old. Besides all that I am healthy and ready to attack my writing once again.
I finished reading a million little pieces. I am surprised I got to the end of it. I am a huge procrastinator and regardless of the fact that details in this book were fabricated- I took it to the end and really enjoyed it. I don't read much fiction, but I am still going to read the sequel, My Friend Leonard.
I am also still having ( a crisis of faith), and reading, Sam Harris - The End of Faith.
I wont list all the rest of the books I'm reading because frankly, who really cares? (only I care.)
Here is what is on the forefront of my observations today.
A few hours ago, as I sat in my new fave coffee place to write and contemplate, and after making my way through crowds of green, parade goers, children, strollers, dogs and drunkenness, I was beginning to think the world was good and kind- until this new barista started yelling and complaining about everyone who walked in the door to only use the restroom. So she angrily hung a sign on the door that read "NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS".
Come on lady. People have been drinking green beer since 6 am this morning. Give a lad a break :p
A man walks in and heads straight for the restroom- she tells him he cant use it unless he buys coffee. He says he will- she says "well then the line would start HERE sir. Not over there near the restroom. There is no restroom without purchase." He walked out angrily shouting "GOOD GOD!" I had to laugh.
The whole scenario caused a stir for little green Midwesterners. Until I realize that not everyone in this place is from here. Across from me was an true redheaded Irish girl, and a Greek catholic that started having conversation about the angry drunk man. She starts telling him how surprised she is about how festive Americans are for St Patty's day celebrations. How wonderful the parade was. She was also surprised to see that Americans are a lot more sober that the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Of course lady.
She loves Kansas City and is visiting America to "take a walk with God and Jesus" - and trying to find herself on this journey. She is with IHOP - International House of Prayer. I'm seeing these people more and more. They seem to have this need to talk about their religion with every single person they talk to and frankly - Its a little annoying and self righteous. Yesterday I had a tour of the Kansas City Art Incubator and met a man holding a rat , as if it were his puppy, and he was also with IHOP. He is growing dreadlocks and is a struggling artist. He was from Minnesota. Are they in town? It sounds like a band tour or something.- Not religion. I think he thinks he must fit the mold. This wave of young cool people who are into "God" like it is fashion and cool to have a "relationship with Jesus" Is this real? Or is it just a fat community that thrives on the emotion of wanting to belong to something and attaching God and religion to it? It doesn't sit well with me.
This girl had a thick Irish accent. I realized it wasn't just an American Fad, but its all over. Something tells me this is new, young and hip- and that older generations didn't experience this brand of religion. Did young America take it to Europe? How and why do they feel it is their duty to "spread the gospel?"
The girl left and said to the old catholic man "God Bless."
So same to you.
More to come later.
I promise!
Love.
I am well, and feeling 100% better after a week of sickness and recovery. I must say - I am rarely ill- the last time I was that sick was in the bout of stress and insanity planning the Annual Women in Business conference in Muscat, Oman last year! I cant imagine that I was indeed stressed recently and that it caused the flu. I have been spending a lot of time at the gym and moving around much much much! My little niece was sick and its pathetic to think that I caught it from a 3 month old. Besides all that I am healthy and ready to attack my writing once again.
I finished reading a million little pieces. I am surprised I got to the end of it. I am a huge procrastinator and regardless of the fact that details in this book were fabricated- I took it to the end and really enjoyed it. I don't read much fiction, but I am still going to read the sequel, My Friend Leonard.
I am also still having ( a crisis of faith), and reading, Sam Harris - The End of Faith.
I wont list all the rest of the books I'm reading because frankly, who really cares? (only I care.)
Here is what is on the forefront of my observations today.
A few hours ago, as I sat in my new fave coffee place to write and contemplate, and after making my way through crowds of green, parade goers, children, strollers, dogs and drunkenness, I was beginning to think the world was good and kind- until this new barista started yelling and complaining about everyone who walked in the door to only use the restroom. So she angrily hung a sign on the door that read "NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS".
Come on lady. People have been drinking green beer since 6 am this morning. Give a lad a break :p
A man walks in and heads straight for the restroom- she tells him he cant use it unless he buys coffee. He says he will- she says "well then the line would start HERE sir. Not over there near the restroom. There is no restroom without purchase." He walked out angrily shouting "GOOD GOD!" I had to laugh.
The whole scenario caused a stir for little green Midwesterners. Until I realize that not everyone in this place is from here. Across from me was an true redheaded Irish girl, and a Greek catholic that started having conversation about the angry drunk man. She starts telling him how surprised she is about how festive Americans are for St Patty's day celebrations. How wonderful the parade was. She was also surprised to see that Americans are a lot more sober that the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Of course lady.
She loves Kansas City and is visiting America to "take a walk with God and Jesus" - and trying to find herself on this journey. She is with IHOP - International House of Prayer. I'm seeing these people more and more. They seem to have this need to talk about their religion with every single person they talk to and frankly - Its a little annoying and self righteous. Yesterday I had a tour of the Kansas City Art Incubator and met a man holding a rat , as if it were his puppy, and he was also with IHOP. He is growing dreadlocks and is a struggling artist. He was from Minnesota. Are they in town? It sounds like a band tour or something.- Not religion. I think he thinks he must fit the mold. This wave of young cool people who are into "God" like it is fashion and cool to have a "relationship with Jesus" Is this real? Or is it just a fat community that thrives on the emotion of wanting to belong to something and attaching God and religion to it? It doesn't sit well with me.
This girl had a thick Irish accent. I realized it wasn't just an American Fad, but its all over. Something tells me this is new, young and hip- and that older generations didn't experience this brand of religion. Did young America take it to Europe? How and why do they feel it is their duty to "spread the gospel?"
The girl left and said to the old catholic man "God Bless."
So same to you.
More to come later.
I promise!
Love.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Alive!
Its almost three weeks since I have posted. I feel like its such a long time. Not writing regularly goes against my nature. As if something feels missing.
Strangely, I dont know what to write about. I'll be really honest and admit to the fact that I dont want to try and think about what im writing in my blog. I realize its public and at times have become paranoid about what I put out there.
Im sure most bloggers have thought of this. Hence, remained anonymous.
Its not my intention to talk about my life in a blog. How many people really care what you do in a day? Im bored of those blogs. But I still do it.. as I am now, moreso writing about my thoughts.
Im honestly just catching a cold and am not in my creative zone to write. I just had to update though.
peace
Strangely, I dont know what to write about. I'll be really honest and admit to the fact that I dont want to try and think about what im writing in my blog. I realize its public and at times have become paranoid about what I put out there.
Im sure most bloggers have thought of this. Hence, remained anonymous.
Its not my intention to talk about my life in a blog. How many people really care what you do in a day? Im bored of those blogs. But I still do it.. as I am now, moreso writing about my thoughts.
Im honestly just catching a cold and am not in my creative zone to write. I just had to update though.
peace
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Pancake Day
This is really, really funny.
Also- today you can get free pancakes at IHOP. click here.
Have a lovely day.
Also- today you can get free pancakes at IHOP. click here.
Have a lovely day.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Looking Great
***Attn: Person from Calgary, please step forward and introduce yourself. I see you visit me everyday. ***
This is an attempt to find clarity through writing. Do you ever wonder if its something you ate, or the person you are talking to, or the thoughts in your head -- that keep you from feeling normal? - On any given day?
Today is one of those days. I cant put my finger on it, but something is just not right.
I cant shake it. Hopefully, it wont last. Someone distract me with something concrete to read maybe- put me back in my place in the world? Life is a strange phenomena, and going off of my last post, you- the reader may be able to understand what goes on in my head. This may have something to do with it.
My procrastination is my worst enemy. Its like the big elephant in the room. I need to confront him- and slap him in the face, ordering him to get out.
Ill go for a coffee. Ill take a walk. Ill read a book. Ill continue to write in the face of my unwillingness to focus on one particular "thing"
Peace.
MY
This is an attempt to find clarity through writing. Do you ever wonder if its something you ate, or the person you are talking to, or the thoughts in your head -- that keep you from feeling normal? - On any given day?
Today is one of those days. I cant put my finger on it, but something is just not right.
I cant shake it. Hopefully, it wont last. Someone distract me with something concrete to read maybe- put me back in my place in the world? Life is a strange phenomena, and going off of my last post, you- the reader may be able to understand what goes on in my head. This may have something to do with it.
My procrastination is my worst enemy. Its like the big elephant in the room. I need to confront him- and slap him in the face, ordering him to get out.
Ill go for a coffee. Ill take a walk. Ill read a book. Ill continue to write in the face of my unwillingness to focus on one particular "thing"
Peace.
MY
Friday, February 20, 2009
Crisis of Faith
Currently reading: Palestine Peace not Apartheid. Jimmy Carter.
The End of Faith. Sam Harris
Letters to A Christian Nation. Sam Harris
A Million Little Pieces. James Frey
Currently Thinking: Music at starbucks giving me a headache.
Annoyed with stupid people. There is just no excuse.
Need a job Need a job Need a job Need a job
I love my friends. The real ones.
Here is something I wrote.
Life is a big mystery. Been feeling inspired lately and cant shake the questions. - If there were no life or existance, What is there? What is the point of it all? to serve God? If so- What does God Want? To be a good person to yourself and to others? ...Then why is it that not everyone can follow the same rules of a dogmatic religion? Its impossible. We are all created with individual characteristics, heritage, genes, and circumstances. How is it that we are all supposed to follow one formula? It doesnt make logical sense. I was brought up to always think there are rules and guidelines as to how to be a successful person on this journey called life. I was always told how I was to function in order to secure success. I always struggled with trying to make myself believe... But Belieiveing is also, Hard to believe.
Where does ones beliefs derive? From whcih ever they do. are they universal? -- regardless of whatever is worldly attached to that person?
I want to go with the easy answer to what I have always known. To learn about the techings of the prophets in Islam, and to just read the Quran. So my heart can find rest. Yet- there are so many questions.
At some point, one must choose to believe in something- but if that belief doesnt adhere to a specific religion , does that mean that person is doomed to hell? God cannot be a cruel creator, we are his creations, yet we have the choice. The "free will" etc......We are not the ultimate judges, I suppose.
It is a persons choice to look outside themselves and find whatever it is they are looking for. We cannot be force fed a prescription medication. A one way ticket.
Diversity is what makes us human. Its what makes culture. We ALL have a story to tell. Without that story, life would be fruitless/hum drum.
Without all the things that human beings latch onto to give us an identity we are no body. Its like the movie about the boy who goes into the wild and leaves all his belongings and family behind him. In the end he found that Happiness is not real unless it is shared.
Those things are important. And the balance of the material, physical, metaphysical etc. is essential to our discovery about the journey that we are all destined to take., to live.
To say that worldly things are meaningless is ignorant. It is a cop out for the immature person who wants to take the easy way out. – Whichever way it would suit him or her. Those things would not exist if they were not important for our growth. Everything has a purpose? A reason?
The human capacity to THINK, FEEL, ACT, CREATE, AND TRANSFORM is immense. We are all given that ability. The proof lies with in a physical cat scan of our brain. And- we only really use a small part of it.
Sit on it.
Chao for now
The End of Faith. Sam Harris
Letters to A Christian Nation. Sam Harris
A Million Little Pieces. James Frey
Currently Thinking: Music at starbucks giving me a headache.
Annoyed with stupid people. There is just no excuse.
Need a job Need a job Need a job Need a job
I love my friends. The real ones.
Here is something I wrote.
Life is a big mystery. Been feeling inspired lately and cant shake the questions. - If there were no life or existance, What is there? What is the point of it all? to serve God? If so- What does God Want? To be a good person to yourself and to others? ...Then why is it that not everyone can follow the same rules of a dogmatic religion? Its impossible. We are all created with individual characteristics, heritage, genes, and circumstances. How is it that we are all supposed to follow one formula? It doesnt make logical sense. I was brought up to always think there are rules and guidelines as to how to be a successful person on this journey called life. I was always told how I was to function in order to secure success. I always struggled with trying to make myself believe... But Belieiveing is also, Hard to believe.
Where does ones beliefs derive? From whcih ever they do. are they universal? -- regardless of whatever is worldly attached to that person?
I want to go with the easy answer to what I have always known. To learn about the techings of the prophets in Islam, and to just read the Quran. So my heart can find rest. Yet- there are so many questions.
At some point, one must choose to believe in something- but if that belief doesnt adhere to a specific religion , does that mean that person is doomed to hell? God cannot be a cruel creator, we are his creations, yet we have the choice. The "free will" etc......We are not the ultimate judges, I suppose.
It is a persons choice to look outside themselves and find whatever it is they are looking for. We cannot be force fed a prescription medication. A one way ticket.
Diversity is what makes us human. Its what makes culture. We ALL have a story to tell. Without that story, life would be fruitless/hum drum.
Without all the things that human beings latch onto to give us an identity we are no body. Its like the movie about the boy who goes into the wild and leaves all his belongings and family behind him. In the end he found that Happiness is not real unless it is shared.
Those things are important. And the balance of the material, physical, metaphysical etc. is essential to our discovery about the journey that we are all destined to take., to live.
To say that worldly things are meaningless is ignorant. It is a cop out for the immature person who wants to take the easy way out. – Whichever way it would suit him or her. Those things would not exist if they were not important for our growth. Everything has a purpose? A reason?
The human capacity to THINK, FEEL, ACT, CREATE, AND TRANSFORM is immense. We are all given that ability. The proof lies with in a physical cat scan of our brain. And- we only really use a small part of it.
Sit on it.
Chao for now
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Previous Delusions
So, A boring post starts out by telling you how I am doing, and what my day consisted of. My worries, and fears. I would tell you that my Bastian had his rabies shot today. That I have been productive lately. That my inspiration is returning again.
I gave a homeless man one dollar today. I wondered why I wasn't quite satisfied with my act of kindness. Was it because I was expecting him to be more grateful? Does that mean that it was a selfish act? I found myself questioning my true intentions. He also stared at my chest as I handed him the money. Hmph. Maybe that was it.
A thought occurred to me today as I saw some Indian girls talking in Hindi. When we go to a different country we subconsciously think we must stay as we are in terms of dress, but when people from cultures who do not typically dress western, they leave their cultural dress that they were born and raised into behind and dress differently. Why? While I was in Oman, I could have saved myself much social scrutiny by dressing how the locals did. But never did it occur to me to make it a habit. It wouldnt have been that bad after all :)
Two words: The Economy.
Last month, a job loss equivalent to the entire population of the state of Maine?? Are we on the verge of collapse?
What I am about to speak is utter truth. The more sunshine a person gets, the more motivated and better they feel about themselves. Their productivity shoots up. They become more motivated in such an depressing state of the world, their lives... The same applies to exercise. So, move to a warmer climate. OR- you must find alternatives for the sunshine. :) Healthy ones.
Here are some random things I find amusing.
I gave a homeless man one dollar today. I wondered why I wasn't quite satisfied with my act of kindness. Was it because I was expecting him to be more grateful? Does that mean that it was a selfish act? I found myself questioning my true intentions. He also stared at my chest as I handed him the money. Hmph. Maybe that was it.
A thought occurred to me today as I saw some Indian girls talking in Hindi. When we go to a different country we subconsciously think we must stay as we are in terms of dress, but when people from cultures who do not typically dress western, they leave their cultural dress that they were born and raised into behind and dress differently. Why? While I was in Oman, I could have saved myself much social scrutiny by dressing how the locals did. But never did it occur to me to make it a habit. It wouldnt have been that bad after all :)
Two words: The Economy.
Last month, a job loss equivalent to the entire population of the state of Maine?? Are we on the verge of collapse?
What I am about to speak is utter truth. The more sunshine a person gets, the more motivated and better they feel about themselves. Their productivity shoots up. They become more motivated in such an depressing state of the world, their lives... The same applies to exercise. So, move to a warmer climate. OR- you must find alternatives for the sunshine. :) Healthy ones.
Here are some random things I find amusing.
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