Illumination

I've arrived about an hour ago. Im wondering how long I would have to sit and write to document all the intricacies in each experience I had. Everything as simple as sitting in a hotel lobby and just observing the people, journalistic-ally speaking, the sites and sounds have so much to offer, so much to explore...

In any case, I did manage to write about the first part of my small getaway from Oman. I will post more as the week continues.

~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Friday June 27, 2008 1:51 a.m.

Im sitting in the hotel room after a long day road tripping and evening spent navigating, and trying to communicate the needs of a simple tourist.

The road from Muscat to Dubai fits the perfect description: Simple yet Complicated.
A landscape of tiny towns, surrounded by mountains, sand and strewn brushes, bushes and trees that only survive by the grace of Allah in a land so baron of water.

Upon arriving at the United Arab Emirates- Sultanate of Oman border, we faced – what I thought would be a simple visa stamp. After about four kilometers of the Omani passport check we reached the Emaraty border crossing. This time we had to go to a special window, standing shoulder to shoulder – side by side with cues of foreigners trying to get their visas. Lebanese, Indians, Australians, Syrians, Philipinos, English all of us in the 115 F heat WAIT for a silly little man behind the window to record each persons entry of the country. Just when you think you are stamped and ready to go, he reminds us that we must go get insurance and come back. Now the advantage of living in a chaotic system is that people can get away with a lot more. Mainly because people here feel they own a right by their suffering to take advantage of others. In this case it means that I can hold my place in line while my dad goes to buy car insurance and that others take their turn in getting visas. The moment dad comes back with a receipt- we can easily butt right back in and resume our visa certification. I’m assuming in Western countries you go to the end of the line. Don’t you dare try and CUT, because if you do you are violating my time. Maybe in these countries it seems more human and courteous to get away with such small things. At the same time, it is also courteous to go back to the end of the line. In both situations and places, its working; but one possibly less painful.

The sand dunes in Dubai are just gorgeous. The way the sun hits its curves and lines the top creating shadows that experiencing such a view you just know that even if the worlds best painter painstakingly stroked his brush, would never be able to create such beauty and perfection.
They go so high and are so consistent. How can the wind move and align them in such a strategic fashion…? Subhanallah…

Not before long we saw Dubai's evening skyline, skyscrapers lined like legos- you stare at the wonderment that man can also create. This realization just sends cold shivers down my back. ….. Need I say more……….?

Burj Dubai is simply scary….

For those of you who don’t know , its soon to be one of the worlds tallest buildings. In Jeddah, Saudi Arabia there is a plan in progress to build a much taller one…. By far.

This is the part of Dubai that is unsettling. The master minds that are coming up with these concepts, and the poor and underpaid immigrants that are physically putting it all together. There is more. It gets worse day by day, as it gets taller and taller.

There is just so much to write about….talk about… Its late, and I must get to bed.

Love love,
MY

Paradise

Im going to Dubai for a night.

Driving there with baba.

Gotta leave. Write all about it later.

Kisses and bunchkins.

Catwalk

I dont have much energy right now to write, post, think, edit, etc.

Last night I had a Venti Soy Sugar free Vanilla Mocha. I was awake for a long time. Have you ever had the feeling that your body is telling you to get rest, but your chemistry - or psychology won't let you? Or you have so much on your mind - you can't sleep so you get into the destructive pattern of falling asleep, instead of going to sleep?

Just a Joint

When you are surrounded by monkeys, frustration is an under statement. One of the monkeys decided to use the time and money that she is getting paid during her workday to get her hair and nails done because she is going to a wedding. Of course, to the monkey- it’s totally justifiable. Because when a monkey wants to jump in your room and steal something, they don’t talk about it. They just do it. They think it’s totally okay, because they are just trying to survive. Other people’s time, energy, effort can easily be overlooked, just as long as the Queen Gorilla doesn’t notice that princess monkey is taking from the colonies assets. When you live like a princess you think you are entitled to every luxury….

On the Subway

I'm still at work, and for the first time in a long time I feel that time has ceased to exist. Its 4pm, and time to leave, and I can honestly say I did not feel the day go by.

There is always so much to do and follow up on, that the small things I did accomplish are nothing compared to the mountain of work that is ahead of me. I guess that's why its important to take it one. at. a. time.

I'm a huge list maker. I have lists upon lists, in different notebooks, online, on my phone, on the fridge... It doesn't end. The more I try to organize the more complicated things become. So I try to live by the motto "What is the most important thing I have to do right NOW?" But I'm realizing the problem with this. Important things are always arising in a days time. So you end up doing only surface level things and cant get deep down to the nitty gritty. I guess this is what happens when you are motivated.

Its June 21st already. I have been back for over a month. I still feel like I stepped off the plane yesterday. My dilemma with time is not going to solve itself. Neither is my dilemma with sleep. I should have learned in college that getting up early or staying up late doesn't make you any more productive. Especially if you have stayed up late and expecting to get up early. I cant sleep normally these days. I wake up, and cant fall back asleep. I have never been such a nervous wreck! waking up in the middle of the night, falling back asleep. Ruth, do you know the answer?! :P I LOVE YOU RUTHANNE SUZANNE!

I have this strange sense sometimes that I am living outside of my body. When most of my days are spent in front of a computer screen, its easy to escape. When you are focused, your entire environment can cease to exist. When I come out of this state, I realize where I am, and how time has passed. I know I sound crazy, but its hard to articulate such a complex state of mind!!! Do you get me? ( that's another thing ppl say here which I don't like "do you get me?") -- anyway.

I posted a comment on my brothers myspace page saying how I liked his taste in music, his musical choice, his instrumental proclivity, etc. He told me that these are the signs of someone losing their mind. On the contrary! I tell him I am at the top of my game :)
Maybe he is the crazy one. I love you doodie!

I started this post with one important thing on my mind. My coworkers decided to come in the office late, and leave early. My boss is out of town, and the person "in charge" decides that we will come in at 9am instead of 8am for the next few days. Ive realize something. THEY DON'T WORK! A coworker asked me when I was going to leave, I told her ill leave when I get done... she says, oh, cuz we are thinking of leaving. ??!!? Wtf?

Ill get into the philosophy of why Omanis are incapable of doing real work later.

Oh- and also, why the gulf is swimming in money while the rest of the middle east watches.
The two are related

Love love,
MY

Daylight Robbery

Ive just stopped everything im doing because I had a sudden moment of inner rage.

A friend of mine whom I have been corresponding with for a few years, recently went to Dubai for the first time and is telling me how disgusting it is.

I am glad to hear someone else say this. Everyone in the gulf constantly boasts about Dubai. I will admit its gorgeous, luxurious, a good time, but at what cost.

All the tall buildings and constant construction. it has lost all human touch. the cars, the hotels, the roads, the malls after mall after mall. really nice but I felt a little sick.

How can these people justify this when there are people in Palestine and there is literally a world food famine occuring?

anyway, these are my simple thoughts right now. will expand later. I had to write before I forgot.

love love ...

The Grill House

Its bout time for a new post people. I have these urges to write, and it keeps getting postponed. Maybe I just have to realize that its impossible to document every interesting thing about Oman.

My latest news:

I went to a wedding a few weekends ago. It was at a five star hotel. It was extremely glamourous, luxurious and most definately- ridiculously expensive. I wore a dress that made me feel like a princess. Pictures are attached. Ive learned that dressing up for a wedding in the middle east is about making sure that no one else has ever seen what you put on. Its about being creative, not about stylish or trendy or classic. I saw some of the most gorgeous dresses, and also some of the ugliest makeup hair and dresses ive ever seen. I cant imagine how some women think that layering 15lbs of makeup and glitter, and wearing dresses that literally blind me with colors and beads automatically means that they look good. The wedding was entirely women, regardless my dress covered me from head to toe, and have never felt so sexy. Well- maybe on a few occasions :p

As ive mentioned before, I still feel like an observer and never part of the crowd. These people come from a completely diffent background. I do identify with it, and understnad it. Yet- I dont feel like I am striving to live up to any standards etc. I am glad that I can still be myself here. It took me some time to establish this to others. It didnt matter. Naturally, we are happier when we are true to ourselves.

The bride walked in looking like a Swarovski goddess. She was so nervous, as cameras and projectors were all on her. She wasnt smiling- just thinking about tripping, or the trail of her dres being in line. She literally looked like a dear in headlights.
I usually get emotional at weddings- even if I dont know the bride or her family. This time- I didnt feel a thing... Until I saw the brides sisters hug and greet her, and help her carry the trail of her dress. They were in tears, and all I could think of was my mother... and my sisters.

My very good friend of royalty invited me to her private beach the other day. When we arrived, I thought I had walked into a scene of the OC, or Nip Tuck, or or or or !!!! (ive never watched the OC-its the first thing that came to my mind :p) The beach house, which mind you, no one lives there on a daily basis- was ginormous. the back of the house has a pool a huge foyer that couuld easily hold over 1000 people. It looks over the top of the mountain, and below is the whitest sand and beach ive seen in Oman. the tide was high and the waves were rising. its completely isolated and the silence there is deafening. The crashing of waves on the rocks is all you hear, and the sun setting in the horizon is all you see - as if coming straight out of a Monet painting.

The water was cool, as I sat there staring at the sand, I noticed microscopic creatures lurking in the sand. If you stare hard enough you see that moist sand is constantly moving.

The water and sand gave me better exfoliation than I could have ever gotten at the worlds greatest spa.

I had lunch buffet at the Intercontinental hotel with my dad this past weekend. Specifically so I could eat raw fish. Dipped in soy sauce and a tad of horseradish, along with caviar and salmon eggs. My dad and I dont usually eat this extravagantly, but we deserved a treat.- Making sure that we got our moneys worth. It was a pretty penny!

Dad is doing well. Its rare that we get emotional about my late mother together. But we both know that we are thinking of her always. Its just one of those things that are unsaid, and deeply felt. But sometimes, the flood gates open.

My time here has been fulfilling as I have decided to take back my world view of positivity, enlightenment, love, and acceptance.

I always have more, im saving it for later.

Love and Loyalty,

The Bastard of Istanbul

I recently read this passage that I liked and thought was superbly written. I cant fully grasp its impact until I write it down. Maybe then I can experience its brilliance once more.


Pg. 72 , from the Novel The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak

Ten Years ago Auntie Zeliha had opened up a tatoo parlor, where she had started to develop a collection of original designs. In addition to the classics of the art-crimson roses, iridescent butterflies,hearts pumped with love- and the usual compilation of hairy insects, fierce wolves, and giant spiders. She had introduced her own designs inspired by one basic principle: contradiction. There were faces half masculine half feminine, bodies half animal half human, treese half blossomed , half dry... However, her designs were not popular. The customers wanted to make a statement through their tatoos.not to add another ambiguity to their already uncertain lives. their tatoos had to express a simple emotion. not an abstract thought. Learning her lesson well, Zeliha had then launched a new series, a compound collection of images, which she entitled " the management of abiding heartache."

Every tattoo in this special collection was designed to address one person only: the ex- love. the dumped and the despondent, the hurt and the irate brought a picture of the ex love they had wanted to banish from their lives forever but somehow could not stop loving. Auntie Zeliha then studied the picture and ransacked her brain until she found which particular animal that person resembled. The rest was relatively easy.She would draw that animal and then tattoo the design on the desolate customers body. The whole practice adhered to the ancient shamanistic practice of simultaneouly internalizing and externalizing ones totems. To strengthen vis-a`-vis your antagonistic you had to accept, welcome, and then transform it. The ex love was interiorized - injected into the body and yet at the same time exteriorized- left outside the skin. Once the x lover was located in this threshold between inside and outside, and deftly transformed into an animal, the power structure between the dumped and the dumper changed. Now the tatooed lover felt superior , as if the key to the ex lovers soul was in his or her hands. as soon as this stage was reached, the ex love lost his or her appeal.those suffering from abiding heartache could finally let go of their obsession, for love loves power. That is why we can suicidally fall in love with others but can rarely reciprocate the love of those suicidally in love with us.

Television Rules the Nation

I am at a point when I know that no matter what your environment dictates. You ALWAYS have a choice. It is a choice to succeed. It is a choice to make money.It is a choice to be happy. and making bad choices- is also a bad choice.

I had been very unhappy here. Without the bad days, a person doesnt get to have an inside view of themselves. Life can force you to evaluate yourself and your environment. Im not the type to settle- take chances, break the rules and your life becomes so much more rewarding and fulfilling.

There is a difference between being obnoxious and rebellious. Putting the two together can only make a person more miserable. We cant deny what kind of world we live in. A mature person who is rebellious for his benefit has taken the time of his bad days and transformed it into something good by making wise and smart choices.

Have faith, love yourself, and keep moving forward.(not backwards) :p

Always,
M

60,000 Thoughts per Day

I dont have much energy now regardless of the Red Bull I downed about an hour ago.

Bullet Points

My boss was back in the office today after being gone for two weeks.

Sitting in an office for 8 hours a day is completely draining.

The SECRET is a bunch of recycled bullshit.

the house is either freezing cold or hellish hot.

my boss has an inferiroty complex.

arabs can be seriously incompetent.

businesses here are consistently inconsistent.

I am drinking a lot of club soda and fake beer. aka, Malt beverages.

My kittens have a lot of attitude. They broke my lamp.

I stole a list of contacts of Top Dog business cards here in OMAN.

Making a power point presentation is the easiest bunch of crap that I can pull out of .... *sigh*

People here need to grow some brains and stop being spoiled brats.

I cant get the damn English accent out of my freekin head.

Id rather struggle hard and be happy, then be happy and too comfortable.

People can go to grocery stores here just to hang out.

I have actually become a reader. aka. dork.

I made the sickest Fettucine Alfredo today.

My boss has an inferiority complex; lol - I know.

Everyone is trying to make money.

Organizing a fashion show costs a helluva lot of money.

Today, I saw real live slavery in the fields.

I'm much more talented than this.

Being obnoxious is a result of your environment- sometimes.

Egyptian kids and their parents much more annoying that I had originally thought.

TV here is all an ego competition. No One seems real!

Im starting to like the VIEW - for goodness sakes.

Im remembering falling asleep on my couch in my apartment and waking up with dry eyes.

Indians are smart, but they need to talk slower

The desert is mighty brown, and the mountains are so high.

Mosques and a mountain view is an uplifting sight.

Please start using the English Language properly.

If I hear the word rubbish, or bloody one more time----!

American brands should have stayed in America

I have too many shoes.

I have lots of stories to tell.

Im not sleepy, but so tired.

These are some of the random thoughts that im sure ive bored you with.
I have no energy to be articulate tonight. My boss sucks it out, swallows it - never to be seen again. Im looking for something else.

peace, love, happiness. - not drugs, or booze.

Love you.