Eye Of Your Mind

Try asking me why I cant sleep?
Or why I cant move?
Is this what it means to truly feel a loss?

Blame the espresso, or the chocolate cake.
but just dont ask me why.

A loss in time -look behind you.
you cant even feel the ground beneath your feet.

if you are catching up, take a sec to look around you instead.

-
Need a little time to wake up, wake up.
To rest your mind, you know you should so I guess you might as wellllll........
So, whats the story, morning glory?

-OASIS

The story is that -- here-- you are in the middle of the desert. Im telling you, people wont change. Bedoins are still doing what their ancestors did, even though they have all the resources and technology in their hands. No matter how the world changes, if minds dont grow with it, we stay in the stone ages.

I remember when I was in the hospital with my mother, bedoin women in the hospital used to come say hello and visit. On one days chat with one of the women, she asked me what the weather was like in America, and during our conversation that I kept carrying on because I thought it was interesting- I realized that this woman still didnt know that the earth was round. She didnt know why time was different in America vs Oman. I tried to explain it to her- and all the information was new. I gave her the benefit of doubt-- She recognized that she didnt have a formal education. I respected that. She was still confident, strong and secure with herself- not embarressed. There are too many lessons in this story - I cant get into it. :p

She kept telling me that she was going to find me a husband and that I had to get married.

I wont forget her face.

She had a cell phone in her pocket. She would answer it - but did it ever occur to her how sound can travel through a tiny device , and that the person on the other end was in an entirely different location, yet- that time IS DIFFERENT on other parts of the globe?

Her face was clear, brown and full., she had perfect teeth and such a pretty smile.
She covered it with a scary bedoin -- what I like to call-- 'mask', that my cat would even run away from upon encounter.

Tell me to stop thinking, cuz I can't unless im asleep. Even then my brain wont stop.
You've heard my dreams.

Arrivederci friends...

~MY

3am

It seems I am only motivated and inspired to write in the wee hours of the night.

Im listening to Teagan and Sara- which for some reason brings me this strange sense of peace and content.

I am weary about the US economy. I was thinking about how America has deteriorated into not becoming one of the greatest places to live in the world. Thanks to Buck Fush- America is in recession- no one wants to admit it, but this is true. Do you think anything will change when we have a new president? I doubt...It'll take some precious time that most people don't have. They have to pay their bills. They have to send their kids to good schools, they have fill their cars with gas. The same gas that I pay 20 cents a litre for here in Oman. They also have to EAT FRUIT which is becoming increasingly expensive...

Do you think America is the best place to live? Im starting to have my doubts. I felt it in the air in O'Hare. People are a bit panicky. No one looks at each other.

It bothers me even more to know that most Americans dont even REALIZE that there is A WORLD that they live in... the world is NOT America. Lets not forget the gracious beauty that other parts of the world posses...

I drove to one of the highest mountain peaks here in Muscat. The view was more than breath taking. I could see the beach shore line for miles and miles. Looking below was a vast vast vast ocean spread out into oblivion. Everything below as tiny as legos. Lining the crashing waves are buildings and mountains. You know-- that song that I love? buildings and mountains? hehe...Aw, my brother has phenomenal musical taste.

Anyway...

For my graduating class- Hows the job search going? Not sure over here. With the economy and all :p

Kisses and bunchkins.
~MY

Social Ecosystem

Im sitting in Marco Polo Hotel in Dubai. Ive been in this hotel room all morning because I have been craving and forcing myself to park down. take a breather. and think.

Im excited about what the Arab Gulf is doing. There are many business opps here, but why isnt there an aquarium? or an amusement park? or a proper zoo? It made me think about all the American influences I have about what other forms of entertainment there may be besides nightlife, shopping, eating and this constant consumerism- the things that I used to enjoy when I was a kid. What ever happened to good old fashion healthy fun? Dubai is still thinking about building more and more towers. This place needs a Sea World or something. I also thought about how there are not enough things to do for children over here. Its a complete adult world, and I wouldnt take my kid out at night here. A lot of risk for too much -exposure- for children at a young age.

Its easy to get into your own head, and create a world for yourself here because everything around you seems familiar. Im sitting in a nice hotel room, watching CNN -"Black in America" on a large flat screened LG TV. I hear police sirens outside, Im wearing my teal bebe terry cloth pants, munched on a few Jelly Bellys, -- point is, every material thing I have makes me feel right at home. Right Ok with myself. Even as I think about going down to the lobby, socializing, or doing whatever it is I do in a day- things are not as different on the OUTSIDE as people may think. Im still surprised with how many americans have no idea where Dubai is. Maybe its the midwest...

working here is a different ballgame. An american would saturate himself with other americans here, and do american things, and feel right at home. To have both worlds around you all the time, is definately harder to decipher. Arab, american,iraqi, muslim.

Todays Motto: Listen to your own voice.

Cure and Cause

I'm itching to write- but have been busy with other distractions. Here are some topics on the forefront of my mind, and some topics and ideas I'm getting ready to delve into.

Globalization: I just ordered Subway at the office and the indian who delivered it, left with saying, Thank you for Choosing Subway.

Every single day that I exist here, I am annoyed by something which I cant quite define in one word. It is globalization, pretension, pomposity, and others indirect display of self inferiority. The western saturation in the middle east is the cause of this complex I sense exhibited in people when they work, and socialize. There are a select few people that I choose to surround myself with that exude complete confidence in who they are- their roots. They also don't defend the backwardness that they live in.

Socially, psychologically, emotionally- the Arab people are constantly trying to cover up there short comings. Not because they are incapable, but because they are lazy.

Ive gone off on a tangent. Here is a quote I read that I liked.

"All of us who professionally use the mass media are the shapers of society. We can vulgarize that society. We can brutalize it. Or we can help lift it onto a higher level."

I love it. Its power. What a scary world.

Ill have to continue this later.

Respek,
MY

Maestra of House

A blog entry is long overdue. Its as if im working on autopilot... trying to make it through the perpetual routine, the constant chatter which I expertly block out with my ever so handy dandy, of course, IPOD.
-Because I am in the midst of the Hum Drum, here is my June July 08 Favorite Music Compilation, enjoy at your own volition...

Starts with song name, artist, then album.

Rej/Âme/Eivissa 2006-Defected in the House [Disc 2]

Some Kinda Rush/Booty Luv/The Mix 2008: Hed Kandi's Deluxe Mix Of Disco Kandi[Disc 2]

Love Is On My Mind/Dogsax Feat. Rietta Austin/The Mix 2008:Hed Kandi's Deluxe Mix Of Disco Heaven [Disc 3]

What Happens Tomorrow/Duran Duran/Ultra.Dance 07 [Disc 1]

Fire (Original Mix)/Ferry Corsten/Ultra iDance 05, Disc 2 (Mixed by Johnny Budz)

Say Say Say (Waiting 4 U)/Hi_Tack/Ultra.Dance 07 [Disc 1]

Jansa-y-Juju/Mainstreet/Eivissa 06 [Disc 1]

Reason For Love/Quentin Harris/No Politics

Sun Is Shining (Spencer & Hill Radio Edit)/Yanou/Ultra 2008 - The Singles

Inside Out (DJ Memê Remix)/Belezamusica/The Mix 2008: Hed Kandi's Deluxe Mix Of Disco Heaven

The Cure & The Cause (Dennis Ferrer Remix)/Fish Go Deep Feat. Tracey K Eivissa 06 [Disc 1]

Da Bump/Mr.V/Eivissa 2006-Defected in the House [Disc 2]

Waiting 4 (Hi_Tack UK Club Mix)/Peter Gelderblom/The Mix 2008 [Disc 1]

My Joy/Quentin Harris/No Politics

JOY/Quentin Harris/No Politics

Maestros Of House/Soul Creation/Eivissa 2006-Defected in the House [Disc 2]- Love This one!!

Get Down/Todd Terry Allstars Feat. Kenny Dope, DJ Sneak, Terry Hunter & Tara McDonald The Mix 2008: Hed Kandi's Deluxe Mix Of Disco Heaven [Disc 3]

Buildings and Mountains

I have a random memory of going to a particular park as a child. The image is so clear. And so 1980’s. My family and I would drive up a long winding road that leads to a large spacious grassy area surrounded by trees. In the corner on the right side near tall pine trees there was this lonely rusty slide. It had one of those hoods when you climb up the stairs. It was such a big deal when we were kids to climb a tall ladder and slide down. Whe nyou are so small the slide looks so big. I even remember my older brother telling me that I shouldn’t try that slide because it was too big for me and I couldn’t do it. Hahaha. Now I look back and wonder if he said that because he wanted to protect me, or he wanted to make fun of the fact that I was smaller and he was superior to me. How I precieved it as a child is a whole different story…..:)

Patience is not a Virtue

A person can only virtuous when it is a CHOICE. Being GOOD by default, -- because one is faced with a situation he is forced to handle without having frequent conniptions doesn't automatically make him GOOD or VIRTUOUS.

Of course there is the issue of nature... which I wont get into right now.

Ive had a hellish morning. I got in to a car accident last night. Ive had serious car issues this morning. All of them just a series of unfortunate events.

The traffic flow in Oman is based on roundabouts, circles if you will. It means that every intersection is a constant flow of yielding. Preventing accidents becomes a matter of the 'careful driver' I prefer traffic lights. GO AND STOP. Roundabouts carry the risk of someone reckless to take chances, and drive faster. The roundabout trusts that people are going to be cautious when entering and leaving. Sometimes, they ARE NOT.

Last night a subdued young lady driving a pearl white Lexus hit me. I cant draw the diagram of how it happened. But it happened. My VW Polo GTI is fine. Im fine. I spun in a half circle while braking. I thought that the rear end of my car was totaled. It wasn't, there are dents. and cracks on the bottom spoiler. Its a sports edition. cute car. no prob to fix. Everything that happened next is what drove me to utter impatience.

Usually, when an accident occurs and you are the driver- you GET OUT OF THE CAR and take a look, maybe start talking to the other driver, maybe start screaming, I dunno!! I just know that I felt completely exploited walking out of my car, because first. I'm a woman. second, because the other car with two women. just sat there. didn't get out at all. Either they don't know how to take charge, or they are just used to everyone taking care of things for them. I'm assuming because they are driving a 2008 Lexus- that they have maids, and drivers, and cooks. and and and.

A guy in another car stopped and started taking care of everything. This is just such a male dominated country. UAE- not as much.

My US passport saved me. It was easy to play the incoherent foreigner who knows little arabic. I couldn't understand the police men-- whom are literally kids. Bedouins. dressed in uniform like they are something special. Call me bitter!

They were nice to me. After some time explaining what happened. I got handed the phone of someone who speaks English and can tell me what to do. Welcome to Oman. you are our visitor he says. don't worry about anything. :O

I can understand and speak Arabic very fluently. Sometimes - Omanis get tricky and start speaking Swahili. Or they talk so fast in Arabic, I need to slow down and speak English.

I went to the station. The other girls in the car came, I asked if they were OK, yes. they were OK, I didn't hear their voice.- and they didn't ask me if I was OK either.

I took off this morning from work to go to the insurance company. After about 30 min of trying to explain to them that I am allowed to drive in Oman with an American license for up to three months, they just went on with the process. All the officialism here are dealt and confirmed by simple word of mouth. Not by facts. So ive learned the game and played that card.

I payed $250 bucks to the company to fix the car. Apparently its my fault. As on other occasions Ive had with the law here, Ive learned to let it go. Mashil 7al.

I left. I needed cash. went to an ATM, and lo and behold, as I'm locking the car door, the key gets stuck in the door. After an hour of security guards and dismantling my door, they got it out.

Ive had horrible luck today. As I left, I got lost and because the roads don't allow you to exit frequently, I had to drive faaar in the direction of Dubai in order to turn back around again. Silly British road construction influence.

I left my father totally innocent of all these happenings. If you had an Iraqi father- you would know why ;)


Love,
MY