blogging

Im so bored and fed up.

The point to when you dont know what to do anymore - because no matter what you do the situation will always seem as if it will get worse. So you end up compromising some things, sacrificing, ignoring the danger that is right in front of your eyes... thinking that it might get better... if you just keep trying.

The ability to be able to look at the BIG picture.. not just the details- as important as they are in some situations, is something not everyone can do. Men in particular have a hard time talking or thinking about problems in the big scheme of life. They tend to look at the minor details. In the end you are the one that ends up looking crazy, and of course, they are innocent. Whether we like it or not- its a mans world.

If women were able to stick together as one force, and demand that we be treated as sacred and spiritual as we were meant to be- then men would rise to the occasion and treat their woman with the love and care they deserve.

But our society has desecrated women. Alas.

The big picture is that we should take a minute and deal with our demons. and not take it out on anyone else.

period.

Painstaking

I have not had a headache this severe in a very long time. I am usually never sick. I take very good care of my health and try to live a balanced life.

This happens when my body goes "off". I'm set off, ticked off, fed up. Its time to completely take care of myself. I have lost myself... and im trying to come back.

I know my worth. I wont try and convince anybody of it. Taking care of ones self is so important. But when you try so hard to take care of those that you love, the balance becomes heavier on one side. Inevitably. Especially for us inherently caring women. Its in our nature.

Take some time to step outside of your own view today. Try and look out for those you love by loving them the way they need. Life is just too short.

xoxo

Never in Moderation

Im feeling very jealous... Of myself.

I read my previpus posts and realized... where did this girl go? Where have I been? Has the wind taken me far enough that I have forgotten? Did I really write all that?

I have missed you of fellow bloggers. And I envy your dedication to your writing.
I have missed you. Time does have a way of sweeping you up- the difference is recognzing when and how and why. Upon coming back down- your perspective is always different. Isnt life so weird and beautiful at the same time?

I do love to write. It seems natural for me to write everyday without heistation. I feel as though once I stop writing- I stop have a lust for knowledge and the desire to learn becomes somehow less. I fail to notice the things that I would normally write about. I fail to notice the culture and life around me as I used to ..-- because writing is truly a vehicle of expressing that which you cannot put into everyday talk. I dont want to just become part of the mundane everyday existance but I thrive being on the outside looking in. What Im trying to say is- writing allows me look at the world in a different light. Because I know that later on, I can document it all.. put it in symbols and words that I wouldnt have usually come up with if I didnt have the anticipation to come home and write about it.

Okay thats enough writing about writing. You get my drift.

Months gone by, and again I sit here wondering how it all happened. Where am I going. Where is this world taking me. Is is really up to me to propel it? Or am I still waiting on some miracle to just fall in my lap?

Wake up calls all around me. I often feel I am in a constant daze. Maybe I am not drinking enough coffee.

Ill keep you posted.