Its the beginning of an end. The first of August. Nearing end of summer. The beginning of... ( try and complete the sentence. do it for yourself).
Everyday can be a new beginning. As cliche as it sounds- it is true. I find that once you make a decision, everything around you seems to revolve or contribute around that decision. In the cosmos, the world will favor you. Just have a positive outlook. Nothing is impossible.
This can be dangerous for stubborn people like me. I believe in this, therefore if something is not happening the way I want it to- I force it, and I end up getting hurt and dissapointed.
So I have decided to just let the earth work without trying to worry too much. Ultimately, I do not have the control. Lets learn to just let it be.
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Painstaking
I have not had a headache this severe in a very long time. I am usually never sick. I take very good care of my health and try to live a balanced life.
This happens when my body goes "off". I'm set off, ticked off, fed up. Its time to completely take care of myself. I have lost myself... and im trying to come back.
I know my worth. I wont try and convince anybody of it. Taking care of ones self is so important. But when you try so hard to take care of those that you love, the balance becomes heavier on one side. Inevitably. Especially for us inherently caring women. Its in our nature.
Take some time to step outside of your own view today. Try and look out for those you love by loving them the way they need. Life is just too short.
xoxo
This happens when my body goes "off". I'm set off, ticked off, fed up. Its time to completely take care of myself. I have lost myself... and im trying to come back.
I know my worth. I wont try and convince anybody of it. Taking care of ones self is so important. But when you try so hard to take care of those that you love, the balance becomes heavier on one side. Inevitably. Especially for us inherently caring women. Its in our nature.
Take some time to step outside of your own view today. Try and look out for those you love by loving them the way they need. Life is just too short.
xoxo
Friday, June 26, 2009
MJ
Michael Jackson died today. I feel completely inspired, yet so sad.
This day is symbolic in so many ways, but just yet another reminder of how precious, valuable, and fragile life really is.
I hope you take these tragic deaths (Farah Fawcett, McMahon...) as a catalyst to propel you to take the time to ask yourself, what you really want to live for, and how you want to be remembered.
No matter how invincible or immortal we thought he was - his time came, and just as no one could have predicted it- we cant do the same for our own. Inevitable.
I made a true prayer for MJ today. I know he is having a dance party in heaven now.
The End for him. but not for you.
live love laugh.
...
my
This day is symbolic in so many ways, but just yet another reminder of how precious, valuable, and fragile life really is.
I hope you take these tragic deaths (Farah Fawcett, McMahon...) as a catalyst to propel you to take the time to ask yourself, what you really want to live for, and how you want to be remembered.
No matter how invincible or immortal we thought he was - his time came, and just as no one could have predicted it- we cant do the same for our own. Inevitable.
I made a true prayer for MJ today. I know he is having a dance party in heaven now.
The End for him. but not for you.
live love laugh.
...
my
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Transpire
When your heart is heavy. the material doesnt matter.
the metaphysical takes over. the spirit world manifests in reality.
when your heart is so full of love that you dont know where to turn, or what to do with it. -when your mind is so consumed. you become like a drone in the rest of the worlds mundane movements.
when you would do anything to satisfy the needs, or heal the pain, or comfort a soul, when loving becomes more than you can handle. when emotional strife is an understatement. when longing becomes sleeplessness, when feeling becomes too hard... too much...
we move.
slowly.
we ignore. we exist, we try to subsist. frivolities , meaninglessness. sleeplessness.
it will haunt you. dont ignore, give it a face. look in the mirror- who do I want to be? Give in.
too many times we are distracted. too often we forget the purpose., the consequences. each little step today, makes a huge mark tomorrow. one month . one year. 20 years.
Just ask yourself.
make noise, commotion if need be. have people talking. this is your life. your love. your passion.
light fire.
love,
..
my
the metaphysical takes over. the spirit world manifests in reality.
when your heart is so full of love that you dont know where to turn, or what to do with it. -when your mind is so consumed. you become like a drone in the rest of the worlds mundane movements.
when you would do anything to satisfy the needs, or heal the pain, or comfort a soul, when loving becomes more than you can handle. when emotional strife is an understatement. when longing becomes sleeplessness, when feeling becomes too hard... too much...
we move.
slowly.
we ignore. we exist, we try to subsist. frivolities , meaninglessness. sleeplessness.
it will haunt you. dont ignore, give it a face. look in the mirror- who do I want to be? Give in.
too many times we are distracted. too often we forget the purpose., the consequences. each little step today, makes a huge mark tomorrow. one month . one year. 20 years.
Just ask yourself.
make noise, commotion if need be. have people talking. this is your life. your love. your passion.
light fire.
love,
..
my
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Destinys Destination
I had a dream a very long time ago that this would happen.
I cant explain the exact details, but something tells me that this was all known, and meant to be.
I remember vaguely where I was, and how unexpected the whole scene was. No one knew what to say, but I was incredibly happy. It didn't matter to me that others would be shocked or surprised at what they found out to be my destiny. They soon realize they had to accept it as reality.
The world doesn't always turn and work the way we imagine it to be when we are young. Almost every one of you can look back on the past five years and never expect that anything you thought at the time, would turn out completely different. All of our decisions and delusions change based on the way the world moves us. We can never, ever predict it- or control it entirely. The small choices we make each day turn into the status of your life- right now. Is the divine really involved. Who really knows anyway. Faith.
My head has a numbing feeling inside it, that will not shake with rest. Its the brink of intensity. The feeling you get when you know your mind has had just about enough. At some point, it will come crashing down. Into you... or into someone else. In their arms, or via technology. What would we do without our individual and unique coping mechanisms? I'm sure we can all learn from each other. No one can do it all alone.
In the movie, Into the Wild
, He realizes in the end- Happiness is not real until it is shared.
Whatever mine or your circumstance, I hope there will always be people in your life that will be happy for you, and with you.
Love...
MY
I cant explain the exact details, but something tells me that this was all known, and meant to be.
I remember vaguely where I was, and how unexpected the whole scene was. No one knew what to say, but I was incredibly happy. It didn't matter to me that others would be shocked or surprised at what they found out to be my destiny. They soon realize they had to accept it as reality.
The world doesn't always turn and work the way we imagine it to be when we are young. Almost every one of you can look back on the past five years and never expect that anything you thought at the time, would turn out completely different. All of our decisions and delusions change based on the way the world moves us. We can never, ever predict it- or control it entirely. The small choices we make each day turn into the status of your life- right now. Is the divine really involved. Who really knows anyway. Faith.
My head has a numbing feeling inside it, that will not shake with rest. Its the brink of intensity. The feeling you get when you know your mind has had just about enough. At some point, it will come crashing down. Into you... or into someone else. In their arms, or via technology. What would we do without our individual and unique coping mechanisms? I'm sure we can all learn from each other. No one can do it all alone.
In the movie, Into the Wild
, He realizes in the end- Happiness is not real until it is shared.
Whatever mine or your circumstance, I hope there will always be people in your life that will be happy for you, and with you.
Love...
MY
Friday, February 20, 2009
Crisis of Faith
Currently reading: Palestine Peace not Apartheid. Jimmy Carter.
The End of Faith. Sam Harris
Letters to A Christian Nation. Sam Harris
A Million Little Pieces. James Frey
Currently Thinking: Music at starbucks giving me a headache.
Annoyed with stupid people. There is just no excuse.
Need a job Need a job Need a job Need a job
I love my friends. The real ones.
Here is something I wrote.
Life is a big mystery. Been feeling inspired lately and cant shake the questions. - If there were no life or existance, What is there? What is the point of it all? to serve God? If so- What does God Want? To be a good person to yourself and to others? ...Then why is it that not everyone can follow the same rules of a dogmatic religion? Its impossible. We are all created with individual characteristics, heritage, genes, and circumstances. How is it that we are all supposed to follow one formula? It doesnt make logical sense. I was brought up to always think there are rules and guidelines as to how to be a successful person on this journey called life. I was always told how I was to function in order to secure success. I always struggled with trying to make myself believe... But Belieiveing is also, Hard to believe.
Where does ones beliefs derive? From whcih ever they do. are they universal? -- regardless of whatever is worldly attached to that person?
I want to go with the easy answer to what I have always known. To learn about the techings of the prophets in Islam, and to just read the Quran. So my heart can find rest. Yet- there are so many questions.
At some point, one must choose to believe in something- but if that belief doesnt adhere to a specific religion , does that mean that person is doomed to hell? God cannot be a cruel creator, we are his creations, yet we have the choice. The "free will" etc......We are not the ultimate judges, I suppose.
It is a persons choice to look outside themselves and find whatever it is they are looking for. We cannot be force fed a prescription medication. A one way ticket.
Diversity is what makes us human. Its what makes culture. We ALL have a story to tell. Without that story, life would be fruitless/hum drum.
Without all the things that human beings latch onto to give us an identity we are no body. Its like the movie about the boy who goes into the wild and leaves all his belongings and family behind him. In the end he found that Happiness is not real unless it is shared.
Those things are important. And the balance of the material, physical, metaphysical etc. is essential to our discovery about the journey that we are all destined to take., to live.
To say that worldly things are meaningless is ignorant. It is a cop out for the immature person who wants to take the easy way out. – Whichever way it would suit him or her. Those things would not exist if they were not important for our growth. Everything has a purpose? A reason?
The human capacity to THINK, FEEL, ACT, CREATE, AND TRANSFORM is immense. We are all given that ability. The proof lies with in a physical cat scan of our brain. And- we only really use a small part of it.
Sit on it.
Chao for now
The End of Faith. Sam Harris
Letters to A Christian Nation. Sam Harris
A Million Little Pieces. James Frey
Currently Thinking: Music at starbucks giving me a headache.
Annoyed with stupid people. There is just no excuse.
Need a job Need a job Need a job Need a job
I love my friends. The real ones.
Here is something I wrote.
Life is a big mystery. Been feeling inspired lately and cant shake the questions. - If there were no life or existance, What is there? What is the point of it all? to serve God? If so- What does God Want? To be a good person to yourself and to others? ...Then why is it that not everyone can follow the same rules of a dogmatic religion? Its impossible. We are all created with individual characteristics, heritage, genes, and circumstances. How is it that we are all supposed to follow one formula? It doesnt make logical sense. I was brought up to always think there are rules and guidelines as to how to be a successful person on this journey called life. I was always told how I was to function in order to secure success. I always struggled with trying to make myself believe... But Belieiveing is also, Hard to believe.
Where does ones beliefs derive? From whcih ever they do. are they universal? -- regardless of whatever is worldly attached to that person?
I want to go with the easy answer to what I have always known. To learn about the techings of the prophets in Islam, and to just read the Quran. So my heart can find rest. Yet- there are so many questions.
At some point, one must choose to believe in something- but if that belief doesnt adhere to a specific religion , does that mean that person is doomed to hell? God cannot be a cruel creator, we are his creations, yet we have the choice. The "free will" etc......We are not the ultimate judges, I suppose.
It is a persons choice to look outside themselves and find whatever it is they are looking for. We cannot be force fed a prescription medication. A one way ticket.
Diversity is what makes us human. Its what makes culture. We ALL have a story to tell. Without that story, life would be fruitless/hum drum.
Without all the things that human beings latch onto to give us an identity we are no body. Its like the movie about the boy who goes into the wild and leaves all his belongings and family behind him. In the end he found that Happiness is not real unless it is shared.
Those things are important. And the balance of the material, physical, metaphysical etc. is essential to our discovery about the journey that we are all destined to take., to live.
To say that worldly things are meaningless is ignorant. It is a cop out for the immature person who wants to take the easy way out. – Whichever way it would suit him or her. Those things would not exist if they were not important for our growth. Everything has a purpose? A reason?
The human capacity to THINK, FEEL, ACT, CREATE, AND TRANSFORM is immense. We are all given that ability. The proof lies with in a physical cat scan of our brain. And- we only really use a small part of it.
Sit on it.
Chao for now
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Obliged
Its the last day of the month. I have not blogged as much as I had intended to do this month. (New years non-resolving to resolve ever again, down the drain.) I was highly distracted. I'm now making a commitment to change my environment- because I have to stop resisting my nature. I was born with it- and to fight it, has torn me to shreds that leave me all over the place. My brain and my body. So I must give in. Make small changes to help/adhere to the way I am, instead of trying to be something I'm not and constantly beat myself up. JUST GIVE IN :)
If you are lazy, undisciplined, you find no motivation in your mundane day to day- you feel you are not living up to the standards that will propel you to succeed, you are made to believe that it is a bad thing. The thing is- its not good or bad. It is what it is. Change your environment to be conducive to the way that you were born. If you are like me, you grew up struggling and asking questions to yourself about why you couldn't be more productive. You were constantly making lists upon lists of to dos. You tried really hard to follow a strict schedule. You would dream about your perfect day in which you got up early tackled your list, and still had time to relax in the evening. Its the perfect balance that we crave. Alas, it is futile.
There is a down fall. Those people who are highly disciplined and live a structured life also lack in other areas of life. They don't feel emotion as intensely as those that are labeled as lazy or dreamers, or artists. But the artists gain in other areas of lie that fulfill them in different ways. Is it a trade off? Why is that so? They are not as spontaneous and can often miss out on the small details of life that pass them by on the daily. The details in which I find- bring me happiness.
Its all about your perspective. But how to maintain that? Jobless and a horrible economy with hope hard to find on those dreaded wintry days, its hard to come across then sunshine within yourself - (if you will, I know , super cheesy analogy)
There are people in the world with much less than you have. The computer you are reading from. The internet I am utilizing as a vehicle in expressing myself, in offering perspective, is taken for granted. How easy is it for me to call my father half way across the world? To send him a text message? In an instant I can have the gratification I need to fulfill the basic needs of a human being. emotionally and physically. Feel blessed. Count them, one . two. three. You are lucky. Things will get better.
If you are lazy, undisciplined, you find no motivation in your mundane day to day- you feel you are not living up to the standards that will propel you to succeed, you are made to believe that it is a bad thing. The thing is- its not good or bad. It is what it is. Change your environment to be conducive to the way that you were born. If you are like me, you grew up struggling and asking questions to yourself about why you couldn't be more productive. You were constantly making lists upon lists of to dos. You tried really hard to follow a strict schedule. You would dream about your perfect day in which you got up early tackled your list, and still had time to relax in the evening. Its the perfect balance that we crave. Alas, it is futile.
There is a down fall. Those people who are highly disciplined and live a structured life also lack in other areas of life. They don't feel emotion as intensely as those that are labeled as lazy or dreamers, or artists. But the artists gain in other areas of lie that fulfill them in different ways. Is it a trade off? Why is that so? They are not as spontaneous and can often miss out on the small details of life that pass them by on the daily. The details in which I find- bring me happiness.
Its all about your perspective. But how to maintain that? Jobless and a horrible economy with hope hard to find on those dreaded wintry days, its hard to come across then sunshine within yourself - (if you will, I know , super cheesy analogy)
There are people in the world with much less than you have. The computer you are reading from. The internet I am utilizing as a vehicle in expressing myself, in offering perspective, is taken for granted. How easy is it for me to call my father half way across the world? To send him a text message? In an instant I can have the gratification I need to fulfill the basic needs of a human being. emotionally and physically. Feel blessed. Count them, one . two. three. You are lucky. Things will get better.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
No Need to Argue
Its been a while. I have been getting requests for a new post. I'll admit, it takes a lot out of me to get going on a blog post..but what I forget to realize is that once you get going with writing, it all flows.
I see writing like giving. It takes time,some hesitation, and trust when you want to give. Even when the writing is technical or objective; You are giving a part of yourself; your mind and thoughts. Its a little something I read about in a book called Bird by Bird by Anne Lammott
I promised a post about the happenings of the past year for the 20 somethings. Since then, I updated a brief description about the goals of this blog on my 20SB page. You can also read the archives to find out what all that was like.
Life in Kansas City as a new Kitty owner, apartment renter, adventure seeker, and as usual, procrastinator, has been fruitful. The romance of the snow falling, coffee brewing and candle burning got me in that craved seasonal mood this morning. Today was one of those days I felt in love... with myself.
Time seems to pass so fast that its so hard to stop for just a second and take in the good in life. I had a conversation with a good friend about optimism vs. pessimism. More often than not pessimists will tell you that you are delusional in your optimism. They are the realists and we are just annoying.
No one ever denied that life is hard. Yes, we can all agree that even when life does get us down, there is no use in complaining about it and getting depressed. (although I must admit, a small sick part of me sometimes takes pleasure in complaining about the changes,adaptations and sacrifices I have had to make over the past year, and how many hurdles I have had to jump. ) Indeed, its all part of the learning process. See? I just go back right to seeing the good in it all.
Some people love drama. They love to sit and dwell over all the shit they have been through. They thrive on over dramatic displays of emotion. This is often emotionally draining for the people that have to listen to you! Take note that it is important and considerate to think of those around you. We have lives that are happening RIGHT NOW. If we continue to live in our past, will we ever get to our future? Tomorrow is gone forever. The best you can do is live the now and if what you are doing right now is going to lead you to a better tomorrow- then good for you. If not- please reconsider evaluating your goals in life, cuz I don't want to have to hear about every single move you made during the tumultuous time in your life. If you can offer me some sort of lesson, reflection, or bottom line- I would be glad to listen . Otherwise- shut up and move on.
On the flip, I also think there should be more room in life for compassion and affection.
Last week, I shocked myself by a simple act of kindness. For any of you who live in KC, you all know about Jerry on the Plaza. He is a panhandler who sits on busy street corners and yells " Im tryna raise a down payment on a cheeseburger" - while holding out a paper cup in your face as you pass by. Tourists love this because they think its a funny line. For those of us who have been here long enough, we all know that Jerry is not homeless. As a matter of fact, he has a nice house. He often frequents my favorite coffee shop and talks really loudly about how much he has made so far that day etc. I have seen him conversing with my barista friends and have seen a human side to him that I never expected to come out in the past 4 years. I pass by him with out ever giving him a cent. ( At times he is rude and need I say-- annoying? ) I was driving and as I hit the stop light, there was Jerry on the corner sitting on his crate. I wasn't even thinking when I found myself opening my window making chat with Jerry. He recognized me from the coffee shop and I corrected him on my name. I told him I didn't have much. He said anything would do. Searching for change in my car- I couldn't find anything in time to catch the light. Soon after my attempt, He grabbed my hand and kissed it "God Bless" . I drove away in complete awe as to what the hell had gotten into me. I mean- I really despise that guy! Maybe I was craving human contact, maybe I wanted him to know that I knew his name. Maybe I was just in a good mood and felt like being friendly. I don't know what it was, but all I know is that I drove away with a weird smile on my face. I guess its a sense of community that was created at that moment. I still do believe he is a little mentally ill... Yes, that must have been it. Sympathy.
Next time you see Jerry out on the corner, try talking to him and listen to all the crazy that comes out of his mouth. Hey- he is a human being too. :p
Compassion is officially the word of the season. I believe that even in the most evil or plastic of people you meet they do have a heart. I was watching the Grinch on ABC , and laughed out loud at the part when the Grinch realizes he has a heart that can BEAT- and when it does he screams in pain. :p
To have passion means to suffer. Passion comes from the Latin word Passio which means to suffer ... Derive from that what you wish. There is a lot of meaning in that word. To endure... maybe this is why Mel Gibson titled the movie "The Passion of the Christ" this way?
If you are passionate, you are bound to suffer. And if you suffer you will inevitably grow.
So, be human and give. grow. be compassionate and passionate. Who knows the outcome anyway?
I see writing like giving. It takes time,some hesitation, and trust when you want to give. Even when the writing is technical or objective; You are giving a part of yourself; your mind and thoughts. Its a little something I read about in a book called Bird by Bird by Anne Lammott
I promised a post about the happenings of the past year for the 20 somethings. Since then, I updated a brief description about the goals of this blog on my 20SB page. You can also read the archives to find out what all that was like.
Life in Kansas City as a new Kitty owner, apartment renter, adventure seeker, and as usual, procrastinator, has been fruitful. The romance of the snow falling, coffee brewing and candle burning got me in that craved seasonal mood this morning. Today was one of those days I felt in love... with myself.
Time seems to pass so fast that its so hard to stop for just a second and take in the good in life. I had a conversation with a good friend about optimism vs. pessimism. More often than not pessimists will tell you that you are delusional in your optimism. They are the realists and we are just annoying.
No one ever denied that life is hard. Yes, we can all agree that even when life does get us down, there is no use in complaining about it and getting depressed. (although I must admit, a small sick part of me sometimes takes pleasure in complaining about the changes,adaptations and sacrifices I have had to make over the past year, and how many hurdles I have had to jump. ) Indeed, its all part of the learning process. See? I just go back right to seeing the good in it all.
Some people love drama. They love to sit and dwell over all the shit they have been through. They thrive on over dramatic displays of emotion. This is often emotionally draining for the people that have to listen to you! Take note that it is important and considerate to think of those around you. We have lives that are happening RIGHT NOW. If we continue to live in our past, will we ever get to our future? Tomorrow is gone forever. The best you can do is live the now and if what you are doing right now is going to lead you to a better tomorrow- then good for you. If not- please reconsider evaluating your goals in life, cuz I don't want to have to hear about every single move you made during the tumultuous time in your life. If you can offer me some sort of lesson, reflection, or bottom line- I would be glad to listen . Otherwise- shut up and move on.
On the flip, I also think there should be more room in life for compassion and affection.
Last week, I shocked myself by a simple act of kindness. For any of you who live in KC, you all know about Jerry on the Plaza. He is a panhandler who sits on busy street corners and yells " Im tryna raise a down payment on a cheeseburger" - while holding out a paper cup in your face as you pass by. Tourists love this because they think its a funny line. For those of us who have been here long enough, we all know that Jerry is not homeless. As a matter of fact, he has a nice house. He often frequents my favorite coffee shop and talks really loudly about how much he has made so far that day etc. I have seen him conversing with my barista friends and have seen a human side to him that I never expected to come out in the past 4 years. I pass by him with out ever giving him a cent. ( At times he is rude and need I say-- annoying? ) I was driving and as I hit the stop light, there was Jerry on the corner sitting on his crate. I wasn't even thinking when I found myself opening my window making chat with Jerry. He recognized me from the coffee shop and I corrected him on my name. I told him I didn't have much. He said anything would do. Searching for change in my car- I couldn't find anything in time to catch the light. Soon after my attempt, He grabbed my hand and kissed it "God Bless" . I drove away in complete awe as to what the hell had gotten into me. I mean- I really despise that guy! Maybe I was craving human contact, maybe I wanted him to know that I knew his name. Maybe I was just in a good mood and felt like being friendly. I don't know what it was, but all I know is that I drove away with a weird smile on my face. I guess its a sense of community that was created at that moment. I still do believe he is a little mentally ill... Yes, that must have been it. Sympathy.
Next time you see Jerry out on the corner, try talking to him and listen to all the crazy that comes out of his mouth. Hey- he is a human being too. :p
Compassion is officially the word of the season. I believe that even in the most evil or plastic of people you meet they do have a heart. I was watching the Grinch on ABC , and laughed out loud at the part when the Grinch realizes he has a heart that can BEAT- and when it does he screams in pain. :p
To have passion means to suffer. Passion comes from the Latin word Passio which means to suffer ... Derive from that what you wish. There is a lot of meaning in that word. To endure... maybe this is why Mel Gibson titled the movie "The Passion of the Christ" this way?
If you are passionate, you are bound to suffer. And if you suffer you will inevitably grow.
So, be human and give. grow. be compassionate and passionate. Who knows the outcome anyway?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Lights, Camera, Action!
Hi. Im leaving soon.
I feel indifferent. - and I hate indifference. Ive been waiting for this for a long time. Its as if suddenly, I'm not a kid anymore. But at the same time -- travelling alone is not as exciting as it used to be. I always travel alone! I wish I had someone to play with on the ride home. maa :(
But thats not what im trying to say! What I want to say exceeds the amount of time I have to post this blog. Practically, I am all packed up and ready to roll. But im a bit torn up inside about leaving. Ce La Vie, life must go on, on the tracks, on the presses- whatever! and im excited about that- to say the least!
Oman will always be a place I come back to. Its a home away from home. And it really carries a special place in my heart. Im thinking about it as how I am going to remember it in the future, and it brings warmth and sushine to my heart- because ive learned. so. so. much... now lets not forget that ;)
Its the beginnig of the ending, and the beginning of a beginning. :p
(Have you ever noticed that when you say or write a word three times or more it suddently looks and sounds really strange? lol)
well now.......
I spent a lot of time at the start of the year resenting the fact that I am here. I spent a lot of moments reminising about the life I used to have. I used to talk a lot about how "messed up" things are here, and its taken me some time to really understand WHY things are the way they are here. I now see the stark differences clearly and can interpret things with a more open mind instead of using clouded- one track minded thinking- I learned to accept , and in the end can clearly filter out the good and bad from both sides of the culture. Every culture has its baggage, and I shouldnt have ever been the one to keep tabs. Im glad ive come to the realization in which I can learn openly, and nicely...
and I do like it here. :O
There has to be another post later on about tolerance and community in the arab world vs the western one.
Its been good yall. Ill see you soon, here or there... ;)
I feel indifferent. - and I hate indifference. Ive been waiting for this for a long time. Its as if suddenly, I'm not a kid anymore. But at the same time -- travelling alone is not as exciting as it used to be. I always travel alone! I wish I had someone to play with on the ride home. maa :(
But thats not what im trying to say! What I want to say exceeds the amount of time I have to post this blog. Practically, I am all packed up and ready to roll. But im a bit torn up inside about leaving. Ce La Vie, life must go on, on the tracks, on the presses- whatever! and im excited about that- to say the least!
Oman will always be a place I come back to. Its a home away from home. And it really carries a special place in my heart. Im thinking about it as how I am going to remember it in the future, and it brings warmth and sushine to my heart- because ive learned. so. so. much... now lets not forget that ;)
Its the beginnig of the ending, and the beginning of a beginning. :p
(Have you ever noticed that when you say or write a word three times or more it suddently looks and sounds really strange? lol)
well now.......
I spent a lot of time at the start of the year resenting the fact that I am here. I spent a lot of moments reminising about the life I used to have. I used to talk a lot about how "messed up" things are here, and its taken me some time to really understand WHY things are the way they are here. I now see the stark differences clearly and can interpret things with a more open mind instead of using clouded- one track minded thinking- I learned to accept , and in the end can clearly filter out the good and bad from both sides of the culture. Every culture has its baggage, and I shouldnt have ever been the one to keep tabs. Im glad ive come to the realization in which I can learn openly, and nicely...
and I do like it here. :O
There has to be another post later on about tolerance and community in the arab world vs the western one.
Its been good yall. Ill see you soon, here or there... ;)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Null and not Void
Being here in Oman was the most selfless thing I have done in a long time.
Im totally refreshed. and truly new.
For the first time in a long time, ive realized how selfish I have been in the past.
Life gets distracting when you are juggling so many things, you lose perspective- and forget whats important. This is soppy- but hear me out, cuz its so true.
We so often complain about the things that we dont have, or the things in life that we want- or the pressures and sacrifices we have made-- We also very often forget that the world we create for ourselves is not the high all end all. There are other people in your life that may need you. There are people in your life that truly have your best interest at heart. We are selfish. Our culture can be a selfish and sick one- if you let it dictate you. Families dont want to get involved in eachothers lives, cuz we all make sure that we are not stepping on eachothers tails, or that we are getting too close. What happened to the days when you called your brother or good friend just to say hello and see whats going on in their life.. ask about them perhaps? -- without them asking what it is you want? I wonder how many people out there take time out of their lives to just call others that mean something to them, without really xpecting anything in return.Maybe im exagerrating a bit- because I know plenty of families that do do that, including my own- and im very thankful for that.
I dont know how I got on that tangent. I guess I suddenly realized how much I have learned by being here- as the time comes nearer for me to leave.
I thank God. Without God and religion, we are nothing. Without it, we can easily neglect to count the blessings in our lives, and truly mean it.
Now go call your mother.
xoxo...
...
Im totally refreshed. and truly new.
For the first time in a long time, ive realized how selfish I have been in the past.
Life gets distracting when you are juggling so many things, you lose perspective- and forget whats important. This is soppy- but hear me out, cuz its so true.
We so often complain about the things that we dont have, or the things in life that we want- or the pressures and sacrifices we have made-- We also very often forget that the world we create for ourselves is not the high all end all. There are other people in your life that may need you. There are people in your life that truly have your best interest at heart. We are selfish. Our culture can be a selfish and sick one- if you let it dictate you. Families dont want to get involved in eachothers lives, cuz we all make sure that we are not stepping on eachothers tails, or that we are getting too close. What happened to the days when you called your brother or good friend just to say hello and see whats going on in their life.. ask about them perhaps? -- without them asking what it is you want? I wonder how many people out there take time out of their lives to just call others that mean something to them, without really xpecting anything in return.Maybe im exagerrating a bit- because I know plenty of families that do do that, including my own- and im very thankful for that.
I dont know how I got on that tangent. I guess I suddenly realized how much I have learned by being here- as the time comes nearer for me to leave.
I thank God. Without God and religion, we are nothing. Without it, we can easily neglect to count the blessings in our lives, and truly mean it.
Now go call your mother.
xoxo...
...
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Eye Of Your Mind
Try asking me why I cant sleep?
Or why I cant move?
Is this what it means to truly feel a loss?
Blame the espresso, or the chocolate cake.
but just dont ask me why.
A loss in time -look behind you.
you cant even feel the ground beneath your feet.
if you are catching up, take a sec to look around you instead.
-
Need a little time to wake up, wake up.
To rest your mind, you know you should so I guess you might as wellllll........
So, whats the story, morning glory?
-OASIS
The story is that -- here-- you are in the middle of the desert. Im telling you, people wont change. Bedoins are still doing what their ancestors did, even though they have all the resources and technology in their hands. No matter how the world changes, if minds dont grow with it, we stay in the stone ages.
I remember when I was in the hospital with my mother, bedoin women in the hospital used to come say hello and visit. On one days chat with one of the women, she asked me what the weather was like in America, and during our conversation that I kept carrying on because I thought it was interesting- I realized that this woman still didnt know that the earth was round. She didnt know why time was different in America vs Oman. I tried to explain it to her- and all the information was new. I gave her the benefit of doubt-- She recognized that she didnt have a formal education. I respected that. She was still confident, strong and secure with herself- not embarressed. There are too many lessons in this story - I cant get into it. :p
She kept telling me that she was going to find me a husband and that I had to get married.
I wont forget her face.
She had a cell phone in her pocket. She would answer it - but did it ever occur to her how sound can travel through a tiny device , and that the person on the other end was in an entirely different location, yet- that time IS DIFFERENT on other parts of the globe?
Her face was clear, brown and full., she had perfect teeth and such a pretty smile.
She covered it with a scary bedoin -- what I like to call-- 'mask', that my cat would even run away from upon encounter.
Tell me to stop thinking, cuz I can't unless im asleep. Even then my brain wont stop.
You've heard my dreams.
Arrivederci friends...
~MY
Or why I cant move?
Is this what it means to truly feel a loss?
Blame the espresso, or the chocolate cake.
but just dont ask me why.
A loss in time -look behind you.
you cant even feel the ground beneath your feet.
if you are catching up, take a sec to look around you instead.
-
Need a little time to wake up, wake up.
To rest your mind, you know you should so I guess you might as wellllll........
So, whats the story, morning glory?
-OASIS
The story is that -- here-- you are in the middle of the desert. Im telling you, people wont change. Bedoins are still doing what their ancestors did, even though they have all the resources and technology in their hands. No matter how the world changes, if minds dont grow with it, we stay in the stone ages.
I remember when I was in the hospital with my mother, bedoin women in the hospital used to come say hello and visit. On one days chat with one of the women, she asked me what the weather was like in America, and during our conversation that I kept carrying on because I thought it was interesting- I realized that this woman still didnt know that the earth was round. She didnt know why time was different in America vs Oman. I tried to explain it to her- and all the information was new. I gave her the benefit of doubt-- She recognized that she didnt have a formal education. I respected that. She was still confident, strong and secure with herself- not embarressed. There are too many lessons in this story - I cant get into it. :p
She kept telling me that she was going to find me a husband and that I had to get married.
I wont forget her face.
She had a cell phone in her pocket. She would answer it - but did it ever occur to her how sound can travel through a tiny device , and that the person on the other end was in an entirely different location, yet- that time IS DIFFERENT on other parts of the globe?
Her face was clear, brown and full., she had perfect teeth and such a pretty smile.
She covered it with a scary bedoin -- what I like to call-- 'mask', that my cat would even run away from upon encounter.
Tell me to stop thinking, cuz I can't unless im asleep. Even then my brain wont stop.
You've heard my dreams.
Arrivederci friends...
~MY
Monday, June 9, 2008
Television Rules the Nation
I am at a point when I know that no matter what your environment dictates. You ALWAYS have a choice. It is a choice to succeed. It is a choice to make money.It is a choice to be happy. and making bad choices- is also a bad choice.
I had been very unhappy here. Without the bad days, a person doesnt get to have an inside view of themselves. Life can force you to evaluate yourself and your environment. Im not the type to settle- take chances, break the rules and your life becomes so much more rewarding and fulfilling.
There is a difference between being obnoxious and rebellious. Putting the two together can only make a person more miserable. We cant deny what kind of world we live in. A mature person who is rebellious for his benefit has taken the time of his bad days and transformed it into something good by making wise and smart choices.
Have faith, love yourself, and keep moving forward.(not backwards) :p
Always,
M
I had been very unhappy here. Without the bad days, a person doesnt get to have an inside view of themselves. Life can force you to evaluate yourself and your environment. Im not the type to settle- take chances, break the rules and your life becomes so much more rewarding and fulfilling.
There is a difference between being obnoxious and rebellious. Putting the two together can only make a person more miserable. We cant deny what kind of world we live in. A mature person who is rebellious for his benefit has taken the time of his bad days and transformed it into something good by making wise and smart choices.
Have faith, love yourself, and keep moving forward.(not backwards) :p
Always,
M
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